sorry long rant incoming.
I work at an animal hospital as a tech assistant in an ICU. typically Tuesdays there are two assistants and 2-3 techs. each tech is assigned Xnumber of patients to oversee and my job is basically to help them with treatments, medications walks, etc.
today I was holding a dog for one of the techs so she could change the bandaging that held the IV in place. She was struggling with the primary piece of tape and accidentally pulled the IV out in the process and proceeded to passive-aggressively blame ME for it by muttering under her breath “I don't know why you couldn't hold the dog still”
– The dog wasn't moving.
– I was holding it still
– I did nothing wrong in this situation.
In response, I snapped and yelled at her for accusing me when it clearly wasn't my fault. I blew up. 0-60 I admit. Long brewing pent-up frustration and today I just snapped.
I never get angry at people.
I never get in trouble or cause problems
I never had fights with coworkers
I'm not one to lose my cool
But I hate Tuesdays. Every Tuesday I seem to pull the most weight, I will be doing treatments while one tech sits on her phone playing on TikTok and signing off on things she didn't actually do and others just drag their feet or are out of the room just chitchatting or otherwise goofing off. Every Tuesday I bust my ass while everyone else slacks off.
The tech I snapped at has a habit of blaming me for her faults.
for example, I'll tell her she needs to refill a pet's medication, she'll acknowledge it, forget then snap at me for not letting her know sooner.
today she was micromanaging everything
“why are you doing __ this way? why are you doing __ that way” even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with what or how I was doing anything.
Then she messed something up and instantly blamed me. so I snapped.
The days are already stressful, it's busy, it's chaotic, it's overstimulating.
I came in feeling like I was gonna lose it. I'm so tired of Tuesdays, of being over-stressed, of doing all the work while everyone gets away with nothing. But if I don't pick up the slack, I'll get told i'm not helping enough,
she pushed me over the edge and I did something I never do. Just fucking lost it. I lost my temper, but i just don't want to tolerate it anymore. I don't want to tolerate doing most of the work, I don't want to tolerate getting attitude for things that aren't my fault. I don't want to tolerate being micromanaged even though I'm not new, not doing anything wrong, and am damn good at my job. She gets OCD, she backseat drives, She's personally acknowledged this. but it doesn't change. today I just didn't have mental patience and literally snapped and lost it.
Then, ended up having an anxiety attack and got sent home (mostly in discipline) In response, I almost quit on the spot. Why?
– Because other people literally will have full-blown temper tantrums, shouting about “fuck this fuck that fuck this place I'm so done with this job” DAILY and not even get spoken to,
– Other people sit on their asses ignoring their patience playing on their phones lying about treatments and not even getting spoken to.
– other people treat others like shit and never get spoken to.
I'm a hard reliable worker,
I bust my ass
I never get in trouble
I never have problems
I've NEVER lost my cool
It's rare for anyone to see me annoyed/angry
I never complain or talk shit
I'm never mean to anyone.
One time. One time I break, One time I get angry. And I get in trouble?
Why is it there are always always people who get away with all kinds of things, and other people get in trouble for anything less than perfection? Why am I held to higher standards than people who are above me in pay grades? Why are other people allowed to throw huge tantrums every day but I lose my temper for even a brief time and it's not okay?
I won't be working with my manager till Monday, she sent me an email saying we'll talk more then. I hate unresolved conflict. I hate knowing I'm probably going to face more discipline Monday and just have to lie in wait for it. The fact I bust ass and do so much is unseen, how much more I do than I should is unseen. human error, blown up in my face. While others get away with anything and everything. It took a lot of self-control not to reply with a letter of resignation. I don't want to go back again. I even lined up a job interview for next week. I'm just burnt out and exhausted and feel so undervalued and I'm just so over it.