I've been on this sub a couple of months now. And I've been feeling incredibly lonely recently, especially regarding my work life.
I have a really great group of friends, a girlfriend, a nice family. And I'm pretty open about my problems with them. But recently it's been difficult talking about how much I'm struggling at work, basically because I just feel (through no fault of the people I'm close to) that I'm just moping and being an entitled brat whenever I complain about it. I rationally know and tell myself that is not the case and, while there are people doing much worse than I am, it still sucks having to do it every day.
While my family isn't immensely wealthy, they do ok and supported me into my mid 20s. I've been in the same job for a couple of years now and got several promotions pretty fast, basically because I speak good English, which isn't all that common here. I have a pretty comfortable life now, I got to travel abroad a couple of times in the last couple of years and as far as bosses go, mine aren't too bad.
So even with all of that, 90% of the days I'm just like “I can't do this anymore”. I feel like I'm wasting my whole life, I don't have any energy to do the stuff I like to do once I'm done with work, I'm constantly paranoid someone's calling or I've missed an important work message or some shit like that. I hate every single fucking second of what I do and yet I cannot in any way think about leaving. I have an ok environment, ok bosses, decent pay, so I feel like it would be impossible to find anything better than this, and I can't just not work, unfortunately.
I know everything we do at the company I work at is completely useless crap for stupid clients who buy into it. And the worst part is that lots of my colleagues – who in general are nice people – are completely into the whole thing and really believe in it and they think what we do is super important -not going to say what it is, but think dumb corporate people talking about dumb corporate stuff like it's revolutionary.
I basically hate what I do, I hate the companies we work for, I hate the whole discourse we're a part of. But I'm fairly good at what I do and it's not like I think there's something better out there…
I know I just gotta get through the day and try do the stuff that actually matters to me – spend time with loved ones, read, watch movies, walk, hike, go on trips, talk to people, have a beer etc. I just can't help think that if we had a purpose to what we do, other than making more money for some rich asshole, we wouldn't have to call it work.