This is my first time I've ever posted on Reddit, so I hope I'm doing this right! Apologies in advance for this novel of a post. I could use some advice on my work anxiety. For context, I hate working and if I could afford to not have to work, I absolutely would but my mortgage and finances require my husband and I to both work. I started my first job right out of college at 21 at a staffing firm doing very low level entry level duties, thinking it would be a stepping stone job until I figure out what I wanted to do. Even thought the job was easy and not much to it, I ended up loving my coworkers and the culture so much that I stayed for 6.5 years. I ended up joining the professional recruiting team and while it wasn't necessarily a passion of mine, I had zero work stress and liked being in a comfortable role that didn't require much from me.
When the pandemic hit, my department got furloughed for a few months and they eventually had me come back to the industrial side essentially back to doing admin duties (answering phones, data entry, etc.) I decided that maybe this was my chance to explore new career opportunities and get out of my comfort zone, and I eventually joined a new, larger firm in January of 2021. My first year there was incredibly stressful and took a hefty toll on my mental health, so I switched departments and suddenly it got MUCH better. I was there for 2.5 years when they started doing l layoffs, which unfortunately I ended up being impacted by in April. It came at the worst timing, because my husband I were literally right in the process of closing on a new home.
I felt like I was in a situation where I didn't have the luxury of being picky and had to take any job that came my way. I was immediately referred to an extremely large corporate company, barely interviewed and got the job immediately which I felt pressured into taking even though my gut was telling me it didn't feel right. It's a very high salary that I never knew I'd be capable of achieving, which was the main incentive. Since starting this past Monday, I have faced nothing but anxiety and strong gut feelings that this isn't right.
I've had barely any communication with my supervisor, I have never even been introduced to my team yet, I've been reached out to by Program Managers that I don't even know and never even introduced themselves and they're emailing me telling me I need to be on a call in ten minutes because I am taking over for someone who's going on maternity leave this month (someone apparently who's on my team and never been introduced to) and was never told any of this information prior to starting. It's an overwhelming learning curve and info I need to learn and truthfully, I'm struggling with it. The training has been completely hands off, I'm expected to learn all the new programs I'll be using based on three year old, blurry corporate demo videos that are hours long and then expected to complete hours of homework within these programs that I am finding confusing and I am getting zero support from anyone.
I think that not only am I in over my head with this role, but it is not even within an industry that I like whatsoever and I have had a pretty horrible onboarding and training experience. Was never given clear instructions or guidance on what to do my first day, never received my equipment or was even told anything about it. My supervisor said she would call me on Friday to tag up and see how my first week went and I never even ended up hearing from her.
One of the biggest issues that I am struggling with is they only offer 20 days of maternity leave and very little PTO and holidays, and my husband and I really want to start a family ASAP. I never thought I would be that person that would quit a job after only two weeks. But my gut is screaming that I made a mistake by going there and should not waste anyones time. The problem is, I was referred by two old coworkers, one who happens to be on my team. I really would hate to make him look bad. But more and more I am wanting to choose myself first and get out of a situation that doesn't feel right. By chance, I happened to run into my old coworker from my first job about a month ago that I had not seen in years. He asked if I had considered returning, which I absolutely had, but did not want to just assume they wanted me back even though I left on excellent terms. I am to the point where I am thinking about reaching out to my old boss to see if I could get my old job back. The stress and anxiety I am facing is crippling and I feel completely out of control. Advice?