For those who have achieved not working…

How do you get by? I have autism and get extremely overwhelmed while working and it leads to suicidal thoughts. I’ve been in therapy for years, hasn’t helped much, I take medicine and practice spirituality. I’ve tried working both hybrid and remote, I consistently drop the ball on tasks and that makes me hate myself more. I want out of this capitalist hellscape, but i need money to survive. Any advice is much appreciated ️