I work at a small construction office as a Receptionist. My manager is a very very very nice lady but she is extremely needy. Some days I am able to cope with this just fine, but other days my own anxieties and issues fill my plate and I'd really rather not be too chatty and just focus on work. She completely ignores any boundaries I put up and I feel she thinks she is above my boundaries. She also has more of a friend/daughter relationship with me and she constantly emotionally dumps on me. She will sit in the chair in the lobby and talk to me for an hour about all her health problems or her vacations or her what she had for dinner.
She cannot walk through the lobby without demanding ny attention. Loudly making a noise, snapping, sighing, saying GOOD GOLLEY, and if I react she will launch into a dumb story about something. She constantly makes coffee and then “forgets” and has to tell everyone she forgot her coffee again. She walks around the office telling us all eachothers lives. She thinks everything is an announcement and she thinks she is the most interesting person in the world.
She has main character syndrome and when the office isn't focused on her she will find a way to change that. Her mood also visibly changes when she gets attention vs not. One day she was in a really bad mood and my coworkers and I all stayed 10 minutes late to listen to her tell a story. She was a different person the next day and for the rest of the week.
She has been really supportive and kind to me but I am struggling hard with this. Some days I cannot handle her constantly needing my attention. I made a do not disturb sign for when I need to focus on a task and yesterday she saw it, and then proceeded to talk to me about non work related things. That made me so unbelievably angry. The more it seems I need space, the more she will not let me have it. I've seen her do this to another staff member too and he got really uncomfortable and exploded. It's a very smothering feeling. I really feel like my first and foremost duty is to constantly validate her and I am very irritated by that. She cannot let anyone else ever have a moment of their own and anytime another coworker chats to me, she walks out and just stands there staring at us. Sometimes I feel like I'm only allowed to talk to her and be her “friend” and it makes me feel controlled.
I go into work sometimes anxious and depressed and may not be chatty but it isn't personal. However I feel the way she handles it makes it become personal. I do not feel that confronting her will do any good no matter how nice I am about it. I DO gray rock her but it's incredibly akward as she does not get it and I feel guilty. Anyone have advice?