I work in a smaller bank in Germany in the back office. I recently had an appraisal interview with my team leader about my annual performance. He was very happy about my performance and emphasized in all aspects that I am developing well and doing a lot. Apart from the fact that I only get a ridiculous 250€ per month raise (61k after the raise, which is not too good for a finance job in this industry) he complained that I “have to keep in mind that I am part of a team”. What he means by that is not that I don't help my colleagues, no he emphasized extra how I voluntarily took activities from them, but that I should participate in team events outside working hours. I don't see spending money and wasting my time to listen to boring and self-congratulatory stories that I already have to endure during working hours. I get paid for 40 hours and after work I want to spend time with my family.
It wouldn't be like me to completely cross post. I have been to 2-3 events where I could take my wife. But it just goes too far when offsites are organized where you are away from home for 2 days and where alcohol is drunk and you see embarrassing photos and hear stupid stories afterwards. I also don't see going out to eat on my break. You spend your hard earned money from one hour of work to please your colleagues. I really feel that my boss is taking this team building way too far and my colleagues are willing to play along. I don't know if they like it and really don't want to go home or they just comply.
I really like the job and unfortunately I don't know exactly how to make it clear to my boss that I don't want to travel and sleep at home, because I didn't sign for travel readiness in my employment contract. If others want to hang out with their colleagues at night rather than be with their kids that's their business, but I don't want to have anything to do with it. Fortunately, the protection against dismissal in Germany is much stronger than in the U.S. so I don't need to be too afraid of being laid off.