Just a rant, but it really irked me and I wanted to share: after having severe stomach aches since mid last week, it finally got too unbearable and we went to the emergency room. After waiting for hours and hours (which is an entirely different story), my wife was diagnosed with severe gallbladder inflammation and infection, and had to have it removed ASAP. She did have it removed and everything went well and without complications and she was discharged after a couple of days in the hospital. We're staying at her parents for the extra help, so my work isn't too affected (even though of course I help her getting up and walking, medicine, specific foods and liquid diet she needs, etc.).
I notified my immediate supervisor in a text message (because he's out on PTO) and said I might need to take time off or be offline (I work remotely) for some time to help, take her to follow ups, fill out prescriptions or get her specific foods, etc. He was super empathic and supportive, say take all the time you need, do what you need, etc. Since he was on PTO, I decided to update his supervisor/boss, the program manager. The response I got was “thanks for the update, please send an update on the project coordinators and management mailing list.” No “I'm sorry to hear,” ” I hope she's OK,” I hope you're OK,” “let me know if there's anything I can do to help.” No – let the management know, like a fucking robot.
I said OK, fine, maybe he's in a meeting. I sent an email with the description of what happened, and got a lot of support, warm wishes and prayers from 3 coworkers. What this asshole had to say? “keep us posted with the DEVELOPMENTS with your family. If you need flextime or time off, here are the procedure and know that any time off/flextime needs to be approved in advance, on a case by case basis.” That was pretty much the gist. That pissed me off so much and I wanted to say something but my family (wife and in-laws) convinced me not to do so. I decided to write to HR because that treatment really bothered me and I wrote that I expected more from my manager, even in a business setting and that a little empathy goes a long way. That was in the morning. I didn't get a fucking response all day. Such fucking assholes. All I asked for was basic human decency.
Do you think I overacted? Was it a stupid move to contact HR? To be honest, if I get in trouble over that, I don't want to work for shitty people like that. Fuck them.
TL;DR – told my supervisor's supervisor that my wife had emergency surgery last weekend, got a response that if I wanted/needed time off, I HAVE to go through procedure and any time off will be approved on a case by case basis.