I hate to elevate this shit opinion piece but he has a point: women are both expected to be assertive in the workplace and then punished for it. What I LOATHE about this opinion piece is it ends with the advice that we not criticize women who are “soft,” not that we accept strong women who are seen as “opinionated” and use the same professional, assertive language as male colleagues.
F THIS DOUBLE STANDARD.
These kinds of articles always focus on promotions and leadership, but we are also punished by not being heard. I have absolutely negotiated coalitions with male colleagues to sell a good idea I couldn’t sell myself because I know His voice will be heard. Sometimes this doesn’t work in time—I have absolutely wasted hours (…countless hours) cleaning up messes created by a lack of foresight and planning not because I didn’t know what would have prevented the situation but because I wasn’t heard.
I have been given the reigns from one leader who believed in my skill only to have other leaders (almost always male) step in and brush me aside—not to lead with better vision but to share in the credit for the team’s success.
Always there’s a self-help book or guru trying to convince me to consider His perspective, communicate more softly, NO communicate more assertively just not too assertively, lean in, NO take a step back, just go with the flow, NO just share your vision…
I am done.
I am only 41 and I refuse to let the second half of my productive years be wasted in spaces where I am not welcomed, respected, and heard. Good luck finding that in the modern workplace—I am going solo.