Hi everyone, so I am a fresher at work with around 1 year of experience haven't got any actual hands on work yet. We were 3 new joinees, both of them as i observe they are extremely confident.. and they have this thing of figuring out stuff by themselves and they also ask people around them , their friends etc. What I mean is they are quite motivated and they possess curiosity. We had got 6 months of self study prior to joining and they went to office everyday and maybe practised a lot. But i did not due to my fear :
i feel my development is not that strong as a programmer.. i step back and avoid tasks when in a group.. i dont feel any push or curiosity to solve it.. and whenever i decide to sit and study and improve my skills i feel like I've already lost time and they are much more further than me. I dont feel any spark or motivation , i fear that my seniors might come to know that I dont know anything.. even though i have a lot of knowledge but i cannot solve any problems..i am so underconfident , ( since I'm verbally good at communicating they are under wrong impression that I'm proactive) but deep down ik i cant i just cant. Surprising fact is i was hired for twice the amount of package compared to both of them due to my sound admin and other skills. Can please anybody guide me. I request it .. my lack of performance at work is eating me from inside and i feel depressed.. i dont even want to quit 🥺🥺