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Antiwork

My boss “figured this was coming” when I said I needed to take a week off for my mental health

I have worked for the same organization for over 7 years. Because of my student loans I need to stay in the non profit sector so I can get (hopefully) Public Service Loan Forgiveness in about 2 years. I started out in a writing focused role and was asked to help out with several different events and boards as they fired people or they quit. I did it. I was moved into a manager role and managed interns and a direct report. I helped an associate in my old role to succeed. All of these people gave me glowing reviews. I managed a cohort of other managers and started one for the associates that reported up to the managers. During COVID I pushed for us to do an anonymous survey and then discuss the issues happening as a team. My director quit. My direct report quit. I continued running events…


I have worked for the same organization for over 7 years. Because of my student loans I need to stay in the non profit sector so I can get (hopefully) Public Service Loan Forgiveness in about 2 years.

I started out in a writing focused role and was asked to help out with several different events and boards as they fired people or they quit. I did it. I was moved into a manager role and managed interns and a direct report. I helped an associate in my old role to succeed. All of these people gave me glowing reviews.

I managed a cohort of other managers and started one for the associates that reported up to the managers. During COVID I pushed for us to do an anonymous survey and then discuss the issues happening as a team.

My director quit. My direct report quit. I continued running events and developing relationships on both ends. I pushed that we needed to start backround work for some events earlier and was not listened to, again. I got effectively a “needs improvement” review and cried during it which was embarrassing.

So after this my entire team was eliminated and they created a new role for me which is basically my first job with my current salary and a made up title. I work under the manager that I hired, who seems to be inept at her job. I have applied at several places where I have been scouted for higher level roles but consistently gotten the “we loved you but…” and been in the top candidates.

Here’s the kicker. My director moved to another state that is a 5 hour flight away. My boss comes into the office maybe 3-4 times a month. I got an ADA claim form filled out for severe anxiety and burnout. They ask me to have my doctor fill it out repeatedly with finite dates. I have panic attacks most work week mornings. The claim is just for me to work remotely which isn’t an issue because my job is writing focused.

I have over 150 hours of paid leave right now. I am being asked to do a lot of things at the same time and there is zero communication. I told my manager I was getting overwhelmed like two weeks ago and she said I could slow down, but I cannot because multiple people are asking me for things due in a short period of time. I started having chest pains half way through Monday and said I need to take the week off and she said she “expected this was coming” which felt like a shitty comment to make. I haven’t taken time off since Christmas beyond sick leave and doctors appointments.

I have lost 30 something pounds, my hair is not doing well, and I’m working two other side hustles while looking for jobs. They are now asking me to renew my ADA claim yet again – which I know will get approved, but i have a feeling I’m getting fired when I’m back in next week.

I checked my email so I wouldn’t be backlogged – had nothing for one day and then got 3 emails asking about my ADA accommodation and one saying I would have to take FMLA if I was off for more than 7 days. Again, I have 150 hours of paid leave and currently my director has been taking about a week off every month and my department head is on a two week vacation. Also, if I did take fmla I would have to use up my pto first anyway.

This place is hell. Everyone I know who has quit or been fired, which are many people, went on to be very successful in other jobs. I do not understand how a department, let alone an entire organization, can function this way.

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