26F and I'm already so tired. I just graduated with my Bachelors degree 3 months ago and I've been applying ever since but have heard basically nothing back. I just feel so defeated already because I put so much mental effort, strain, and energy into getting myself through college and now that I'm out and looking at the job market it just feels like my degree isn't worth shit. Like seriously what was it all for? Cause everywhere I apply for that I'm qualified for I don't hear anything back. I just don't know what to do.
My current job that I've had for 5 years (that I also already have a trade degree for) keeps me there with a carrot on a stick by saying they “try to find promotions for me” and “talk with higher-ups about me” and such but lately, that's not really making me feel hopeful anymore.
In reality, I know they are just exploiting me for my good work ethic and passion for the industry I'm in but like, the light inside me feels like it's dying.
They've never once given me pay raise or a promotion that I want/applied for even though I've seen my male co-workers receive both. I still get minimum wage and am part-time even though my hours of availability are for full-time and I'm trained to do everything. I've applied for multiple promotions within the company and have never gotten it.
My boss only once offered me a slight step up from where I am now but for a lot of extra work and not much extra money to do it so I turned it down because it really seemed like more of a dead end than a promotion. (The person in that position before was there for nearly a decade and never moved up though they wanted to and they were miserable)
I found out later that the man they hired after I turned it down got a better pay offer than I did. Like way better. That made me so upset because they hired someone from the outside and offered them more pay than they were willing to offer me and they wouldn't have even needed to train me for the position because I was already the “fill-in” person for that shift when the regular was on PTO.
Then there was one of my dream positions available as a promotion at my job so I applied for it right away when it became available on our internal company website. I was completely qualified for the position and my job claimed they wanted to hire from within for it. I was in the interview process and the hiring manager even told me I was a good pick for it. However, then I was told that I was actually the “second choice” for the promotion and that they instead went with someone they hired FROM THE OUTSIDE like what the hell! And apparently they were talking to this person before they even made the position available as an internal promotion so its like I barely even had a real shot at it because they basically had already chosen before they even allowed me to apply. I've even heard through the grapevine at work that this new person sucks at the job which makes me even more mad about it because I know I would have done a great job. I'm just so mad that my job didn't even give me the chance despite how long I've worked there. Absolutely no loyalty.
Honestly I just want to give up at this point.