My (31, F) department at work recently had a huge change due to the department head retiring and my boss leaving. I really liked them and the new department head is a total mess.
That being said, ironically, I feel like I'm doing my best work yet. And so in some way I'm enjoying my job and enjoying that leadership is a total mess.
I've never really been in this position before and it kind of gives me the “ick” because I know that leadership is inept, but I also feel like I'm getting opportunities that I didn't have before under the stable, better leadership. It's also getting me noticed (positively) by senior leadership and while a lot of those members are responsible for the state of things, I'm also enjoying the positive reinforcement tbh.
I kind of feel like I'm playing both sides and for some reason that feels wrong. I'm trying to do what I can to take advantage of the vacuum the changes have brought. I work for a membership services org and I'm really trying to lean in on helping our members especially since I'd probably want to go work for one of them someday.
It just feels kind of dirty to get praise from people I don't respect but also kind of enjoying getting the praise. It's such a bizarre situation that I've never been in and I have a lot of complex feelings about it lol.
ETA – Essentially I'm not confident in the direction of the future of the department, but I'm developing my confidence in what I can do to have a positive impact regardless of the rest of the dumpster fire.