Weird thought.
I just moved city when I started a position this year (my first job post-college). I worked in research and abroad in Europe sporadically through college, but now I work in the US. I've felt very comfortable asking peers to get drinks or go clubbing on weekends in past teams. Now I'm at a big company, with a lot more older colleagues, and Ive been feeling really weird about whether I can consider my new colleagues “friends” outside of our daytime bantering…
In college I was in career oriented organizations, toiled for hours over study, and worked internships and research. At every level of my life I felt I was working, and I was making friends through it. Those relationships had trust, respect, and were seemingly fulfilling.
I laughed at the notion of how anyone could “make work their life”, but when I think about it now, I think I've been doing it for a while and underestimating the value of my OWN life… I've got a pathetic home life and a slew of decaying passions I sidelined over the years to keep this lifestyle afloat. I don't feel excited when I get home at night to do anything or talk to anyone.
I need to get my head on straight so I can make some changes for the better, but the picture is fuzzy. The formula I'd honed to feel fulfilled in my relationships, and larger life, up to this point is unequivocally flawed. I'm concerned that my lack of direction outside of career aspirations has resulted in me enabling work to exert excessive control over my time. I think that this has been happening since highschool. Maybe even that I was making the job I hoped to get in the future the entire purpose for getting through tough times in life.