In my entire career I have never been this upset when it comes to work. I've never felt so stupid or inadequate. My boss has been horrendous and just keeps at it. Our team is small so there aren't other people I can ask if I'm taking shit wrong or if it really is as bad as it feels. Meetings where boss expects us to contribute, when I do, it honestly feels like I'm being backhanded through the screen for any thought or idea that is “wrong” or “unintelligent”. I wait for a pause and I'm mostly asking questions about something they said because I want to be able to understand and follow the thought process.
We have another one of these types of meetings soon and if I just choose to not contribute they will ask about it. How do I phrase “Anytime I contribute you just hammer into me further how dumb my thoughts are” professionally?
I'm hitting my breaking point. I'm trying to learn but without constructive feedback when I have questions on something that they want me to be progressing in, it all feels pointless.