“You can't outplay a shit coach.” – baseball proverb
I was a high performer with a mental disability that I didn't disclose for years. That was my worst crime. I recently had to leave a decent job because the company protects spotlight-hogs, not just high performers.
Quitting my narcissist supervisor is the best thing I have done for health: mental, physical snd spiritual. I was good at my job, but she made sure I only had non-spotlight work that never got attention or a raise. When I started getting invitations to speak in the organization, she was clearly weird (jealous). She actually told me to stop doing any speaking and events at work.
Once I learned she was gossiping up and aligning people against me with lies, I started recording her, and the other management content to proliferate falsehoods. I had proof I did my work, she fabricated proof that i was never allowed to see. HR ignored my complaints of a hostile work environment a half a dozen or more times.
Let call her “Roseanne.” She worked long hours and I wondered about her family who were a part of her image. It was shallow at best & people in the company knew: the reason she was always at work was because her home life was devoid of substance. Roseanne had a husband who inherited a lucrative restaurant/alcohol-related family business. Once an attractive, blonde, blue eyed mom, (before I was a threat) she would confide in me. She was unhappy at home pre-covid. Postcovid, it hit the fan and she took it out on me. She let herself go in covid and put on 50 or more pounds. I am not fat shaming (I struggle with body image too), I am shaming gluttonous housewives that take out their insecurities on others in that nosey-becky-way. Maybe that insecurity paired with her narcissist ego is why her husband definitely was having affairs (he had a vasectomy because of a near paternity problem that became an abortion), they both had drinking problems, he had several traffic tickets (one coming from girlfriends house at 1 am) and her kids learned to be indifferent because she was not available.
Yes, I kept the emails. Yeah, I filed a complaint with the EEOC because it all happened after I disclosed a disability and requests for accommodation and she said: “We don't have to do that.”
I didn't record her ADA violations then, and when the first EEOC case came up, she selectively “didn't remember” any of it. When a liar tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. Also, know the laws in your state, collect your evidence (as the ADA/EEOC recommend), file your truth. The EEOC is over run with these kind of cases (a majority are mental health discrimination), and I learned with my first filing, you need a lot of evidence to make a claim, not just one or two or three pieces of evidence.
These corporate fuckers act with impunity (See also Uber, Apple, NASA). EEOC claims barely affect them, but if the disability movement had as much momentum as anti-racism, I would still have that job. I guess I am glad to know the truth and I don't regret standing up for my rights.
Quit your shit job & start enjoying your life.