I love the work I do, honestly.
I'm in the social services industry and my coworkers, my boss, everyone I work with is amazing. But I can barely pay the rent. Any type of medical expense, car repair expect, anything will 100% derail my ability to cover regular rent payments.
But I can't leave.
My job is providing financial assistance to people struggling with rent, bills, etc. And I consider it the most revolutionary work I could ever do. I learn about shithole employers and inform people on work around when previous employers won't provide separation notices or check stubs.
I learn about and document shithole landlords who use illegal tactics.
Most importantly, I help people stay in their homes when shit gets hard.
But the truth is, it's exhausting and never ending. My bosses don't put the pressure on me that I put on myself. I can't miss a single day of work without having a ton of missed calls and emails from despises people worried about being evicted. I can't enjoy a break without wondering who's life is falling apart right now because I'm not there with duct tape to put it mildly back together.
I had a dream once of saving the world.
But the world is just too evil and shitty to be saved.
I hate all of this.