Yesterday my boss and I got into a tiff because I had been using the bathroom frequently that day because I had to pee and poop a lot that day. Shit happens. I went before my break because I couldn’t wait, I went during my 10 minute break because I had to pee, but then after my break a couple minutes in I had to shit so bad that my stomach was starting to churn and I knew if I waited any longer then it’d be an emergency. So, I asked the person in charge on the floor if I could use the restroom, which she permitted as long as my boss, who was working on the floor with us that day, covered my position. So I went to the bathroom, and granted yes I DID bring my phone with me this time but it’s because I wanted to text my mom about how uncomfortable I was over the fact that a customer whose kinda odd brought me a gift. When I finished using the restroom I returned to the back, putting on my apron and my boss made that whistle noise when someone goes “woooaaah!” And she followed it up with, “You were in there for a while.” And I didn’t say anything right then and there because I was so taken aback and, honestly, triggered because I get extremely insecure when I’m using the bathroom for a while, especially to poop, and someone makes some stupid remark like “Did you fall in the toilet?” “What took you so long? Where were you?” Etc. Because I’m taking a shit and that’s that. Yet, if you tell them those details they go “Eww!! Gross!!” Or “Didn’t need to know that.” Or something along those lines. Basically: I really fucking hate people being smart asses when I’m just using the bathroom.
So I within those few minutes it was just EATING at me and I was conflicted with whether I should just shut my mouth and let it slide, even though I knew that would cause me to have attitude without clarity towards her, or I say something to her like a mature person and try to communicate how I felt. So, when she stood near me I nervously blurted out so her, “[B/N], I’m sorry but I just really didn’t care for that comment that you made.” To which she looks me in the eyes and replies, “Well I didn’t care for you using the bathroom on company time. And I told you that in private, but you had to go ahead and say it in front of your coworkers and make it a big thing. But, to clarify why I said that, I essentially paid you to use the bathroom when I need you here in the floor to do your job. And, like I tell this to [other coworker], I’m not doing favoritism, but I need to be clear because I don’t know if your going in there to use your phone or whatever. You know?”
At this point, I was biting back tear to no avail because it felt really personal to me now, so I expressed to her “I understand that, and I’m not trying to make excuses like I’m taking breaks back to back but I have stomach issues and I have IBS and sometimes I just have to use the bathroom more.”
Which she explained how she knows what that’s like since her sister has it, but because I don’t have a doctors note she can’t excuse it.
I understand where she’s coming from as a manager’s position; I can’t use the bathroom frequently for long periods of time as they can’t know what I’m doing in there and could be doing a number of things like playing on my phone, taking a long breather, doing drugs, etc. I am empathetic to this reasoning and I’m not unreasonable to understand that. However, I was taken so aback by this because I don’t do this every shift- at least I try my hardest not to. Also, my managers have tried to empathize to us how they’re “not monsters” and will not write us up for using the bathroom if it’s a genuine emergency (we get written up for going to the bathroom off of our breaks), but this felt like a complete contradiction.
Overall, I essentially felt harassed by my boss for using the bathroom as intended for something I could not help.
P.S. I’m in the process of getting a doctors note for my IBS to excuse this in the future. Wish me luck.