Ive been working as an assistant to a Criminal/Civil defence lawyer for about 3 months now, and I already want to quit so badly. It isn’t even that tough of a job, and it’s only 3 days a week… but I still find myself so drained. I have very high anxiety, and my boss is a very intense person who is VERY bad at communication. Every Sunday, I just feel so much dread that I have to get up and go to work. The whole day, my chest hurts, I feel restless, I can’t stop worrying about what I might mess up next.
I have no previous experience in working in a law firm or as a legal clerk, and my boss never trained me in anything. He basically just says something along the lines of “do an (any legal document), serve it and file it with the court”. Then leaves me to it. It’s so stressful. He is also so bad at giving instructions, but when I ask him to clarify he just seems so annoyed. Even when I have to get him to review something or sign something that HE KNOWS he has to sign/review, he seems so annoyed that I had the gall to enter his office. It’s so stressful. I dread every single interaction with him.
He also relies on me a lot to learn things FOR him, which is very stressful. He’s been a lawyer for 30+ years, yet doesn’t know how to file things, doesn’t know how reporting a crime works, etc. It is really frustrating, because I don’t know either, and I don’t get why he doesn’t know. It just makes us look like idiots. Sometimes he will mess up on a document he made, and then blame me for not “double checking” it, even if it was the document he specifically told me to use.
There is also an issue with work/life boundaries. He once asked me to come in an extra day, but I couldn’t because I had a vet appointment and didn’t know how long I’d be there. He said “I don’t care. I need you to come in”. So I ended up having to go in right after the vet appointment, which was already stressful for me as my cat was not feeling well and I was really worried. I wouldn’t be able to take a day off due to illness because of how much he relies on me for things. It feels like I’m not paid enough for everything I do, but maybe I a exaggerating? I am a legal assistant after all, but it sucks having to go in when I feel like absolute shit just because he can’t remember how to file stupid documents. He is extremely disorganized and forgetful.
I planned to at least try to stay at this job for a year since I’m still in school, but I don’t know if I can even make it that long. This job makes my anxiety skyrocket and just feels like it drains my brain power. I’ve only worked retail jobs before this, and one office admin job that was pretty easy. I just struggle with staying at a job for longer than a few months because I either get burnt out, or I just end up hating my job. The longest I’ve stayed at a job was 1 year. I feel like it looks so bad on my resume. It basically tells employers that I won’t stick around. I also worry that this pattern will continue for the rest of my life, and I will never find a job that I actually enjoy getting up and going to.
So, besides all of my ranting and complaining, how do you guys deal with jobs that you hate but feel the need to stick around? Do you struggle with sticking with a job for more than a few months? Any advice besides “suck it up”? Lol
TLDR: I hate my job and my boss. Every job I’ve had I haven’t stayed for more than a year, and I already want to leave this one 3 months in. How the hell do people stay at jobs for 10+ years??