Things are bad at work. Very bad. I expect I will be doing 12-14 hour days in the office (I’m salaried so no OT) until November.
No matter how hard I try to keep things organized, projects always turn into a mess with major changes from leadership by the hour that I’m not clued in on.
This week I told leadership that a failure was on the way. I said it every day & laid out exactly how to mitigate it. and it did not matter what I said. There was a very condescending email saying I was making unsubstantiated claims and speculating without all of the information. And sure enough, I was right. It did fail.
But I don’t feel good about being right. I feel
completely ignored. Like no one values my insight. Part of me is starting to think I should just stop mitigating risks entirely. Let them run themselves into the ground.
I tend to get emotionally invested in my work. I’m always trying to exceed expectations and all the other bullshit capitalism tells us we should do. And it just has not paid off.
I can’t leave and risk lapsing on health insurance. I just got out of the hospital with a new chronic condition. I can’t afford cobra. So I’m stuck for a little while.
I need to mentally and emotionally cope with the hell I’m in right now. I also do genuinely like my bosses and coworkers as people. I don’t want to make their lives harder. I don’t want to see good people fail.
We are close right now because we are trauma bonding. And that’s the truth behind the “family” bullshit.
I’m hoping for some coping mechanisms and advice on how to survive without my soul leaving my body every day.