So I got told off by my boss again yesterday. Work too slow. But honestly, I have no idea how to even speed up. I'm not slacking, go as fast as I can. (If I rush things I tend to make exponentially more mistakes than normal). I've always been more of a “slow and steady wins the race” kind of person anyway.
When I asked for suggestions or guidelines on how to improve or targets to aim for, he just gave me a wishy-washy speech about how it has been a long time since he did it, but he knows how long it should take. And no, there are no quotas or targets. And even if there were for my duties like there are for others here, they only share them and your results in the yearly review.
I feel like I'm struggling to do my best and as usual it just isn't good enough. Of course it doesn't really help that I wasn't properly trained on any of my current duties (I specifically asked my manager twice before starting them if I would get fully trained on them, he said yes, still never happened). I've had to figure them out on my own for the most part or ask coworkers (and hope they have the correct info).
I get along with most of my coworkers, at least I think so. Other than one guy, I haven't heard anyone complain about me or call me a slacker or such (of course who knows about behind my back). I'm always trying to find something to do when things slow down. (Funny story with that: one of my coworkers always just sits out on his phone when he has nothing to do, I go around asking people if there is anything I can do to help them. My manager told me off for doing that.)
The two people I know look down on me, are the two people I report to under my manager. They aren't leads technically, yet basically are. I know one of them has been trying to get me fired since I started. (He's called me an “idiot” before, though in stronger language that would get this post pulled.)
At this point I'm just tired. I go in every day and try to do my best, and it just isn't good enough. It's draining.
Sorry…I just had to get it out I guess…