I think I saw a post on here (or somewhere) the other day about how they weren’t burnt out, but they just… didn’t care anymore. And I think that’s how I’m feeling.
For some background, I lost my job in 2020 (before Covid, was fired, but they did it with so much hate it was super traumatizing). Thankfully I was able to get my career back up and running, but I’ve found that I just can’t get myself to care anymore about any job or any project in any company. In my current job, I don’t care to help them make a profit or contribute to the culture or to involve myself or better the industry I’m in. And I can’t imagine having to ever have to do another interview and tell a group of strangers that I’m looking to “positively impact the bottom their company; to improve the daily lives of people; to increase profit through value-based products”. I find myself thinking “I do not care anymore” about everything and anything! The value, the products, the collaborative work sessions, the impact on our customers – literally nothing at all. And it mostly stems from this collective fever dream we’ve all lived through, the realization that we as the workers don’t matter. That we’re all just numbers and at the end of the day a company will get theirs before we get ours. In every aspect – money, benefits, flexibility – they just can’t lift a finger to improve our lives so why should I care about improving anyone else’s life via me chained to a computer all day? I don’t want to turn my camera on and participate in some dumb trivia for team building when honestly what I want is summer Friday or better benefits. I want to live MY life. I just can’t get my motivation back for anything after realizing this, and I don’t think it’s coming back.
The quote that comes to mind is “I do not dream of labor”. Is this a collective feeling? Is this what others have felt for years now, even before Covid? I am thankful that I work remotely so I can vent my feelings in the kitchen and then return to “work”. But when it comes down to putting in extra effort? Nope, I’m absolutely over it. I do not see a return on my investment, so I refuse to continue putting in effort lol.