Forgive the incoming long rant, there's a lot on my mind.
I work in news media for a digital platform. This means that my job can be done from anywhere. When the pandemic hit, this was proven to be the case. Our bosses even expressed astonishment that our productivity had not diminished at all but actually increased.
I took this as a test run. I was always reliably available, responded to emails and messages quickly and generally handled my workload without a ton of hand holding. I know that both the bosses and colleagues knew they could rely on me to do my job. I think *most* of my coworkers did the same… though we definitely had a few people who took advantage and were barely at their computers all day. Given my current mindset I can't blame them all that much, but it painted the rest of us in a bad light.
As I'm sure you can see where this is going, our department decided on a full five-day-a-week RTO plan in March of last year. On the Zoom call where this was discussed I was the only person to speak out, not aggressively but simply stating my case that we had been productive while working from home and that it had improved everyone's work/life balance and people were happier. My concerns were quickly dismissed and sadly no one else spoke up — though I immediately got several messages from colleagues thanking me for saying something. I don't think it would have made much of a difference had anyone else echoed my frustrations. Management had already made up their minds.
Since then I cannot really put into words how unhappy I am in the office. We are in an open office floor plan next to many other departments. It's a loud, noisy environment with no privacy. Sometimes I put on a white noise video on YouTube in my headphones just to get some relief. *In theory* I am entitled to a one-hour break… but to do what. There is nowhere to go that is quiet, and our building is in a very busy part of town so outside is chaotic and crowded. Food options are terrible. I work second shift and after 6pm there is only fast food and sit-down restaurants where I do not have the time to eat at and don't want to eat at. In order to get a reliable home cooked meal I have taken to cooking dinner in the mornings and putting it in a to-go container. This is not only depressing, it also eats up my only available free time during the day.
I also work weekends. In the past I haven't minded all that much as the work is generally easier, I am done earlier and there are fewer people here so the environment is less crazy. But this past year my wife and I welcomed our first child, and now I feel like I never see her. She is in daycare during the week, and on the weekends I am at work. I feel like there is no time for me to actually live a life outside of work. I have missed some of her milestones because I am in this building for absolutely no reason.
I have debated on numerous occasions raising my unhappiness and piss-poor mental health to my bosses… but why? I feel that it would amount to nothing besides putting a target on my back for retaliation.
I do try to put things in perspective and recognize the privileged situation I am in. I understand that other careers do not afford people the ability to work from home at all. In some ways I think I would be less depressed if I had one of these jobs. At least then my physical presence would actually mean something — it would be essentially to perform the job duties. As it stands right now I commute an hour each way so I can sit at a computer and do the exact same work I was doing from home, but in a far worse environment and sequestered from my family. I want to quit but between rent and daycare, I might make it three months max and I'm not comfortable with that safety net. I am definitely doing the bare minimum these days but that doesn't provide much relief; I am still required to be in this cursed building for the majority of my waking hours.