Trust me, if work is making you cry, keeping you up at night, if you're thinking about work all the time, it is not worth it and you deserve better. I stayed in my old job so much longer than I should have and I didn't deserve to go through that shit! I've been in my “new” job for a year and it's so much better, and even when I get the stray thought about moving on, I feel exhausted at the mere prospect of jobhunting and worry that the culture of any new place would be worse than my current one and I'd be going “backwards”. Bad jobs are traumatic, you spend 1/3 to 1/2 of your life with these people, at these workplaces, they affect you just as much as anything in your personal life. I was walking home from work crying on the phone to my parents, I was struggling to fall asleep on Sunday nights dreading going in the following morning, I would pray that my boss would WFH so I wouldn't have to exist in the office with them…
At the same time, don't tell yourself off or think you're an idiot for taking that shitty job, we all need to live in this world. I'd been unemployed for 8 months during Covid and was so depressed I thought I was never going to get a good job, see my friends again etc. At the same time, if a job is traumatic, it will exhaust you and make you feel like there's no point searching for better, you can't think it's possible to get out until you have…
Please let this be the motivation you need to try and find that better job, or downshift or whatever, whatever suffering you are feeling due to work, is 99% of the time not merited by the job you do or the pay you get for doing it. You deserve dignity and respect, and a healthy work-life balance, and all of that good shit.