I feel immense dread every night before work, and waking up at 6 or earlier feels painful and impossible. The workday is always somehow both anxiety-inducing and monotonous. All the interactions feel unreal and performative. I feel like I'm constantly behind on bills and housework. I feel like 5/7ths of my life is just promised to someone else, to help make someone else richer. Even when I get off at 4 or 5 I feel so exhausted physically and mentally I just lie around and dissociate for the entire evening. I've been in office jobs, retail, manual labor, and wfh and they've all drained me similarly. I feel like it's difficult to be motivated to keep living, knowing this is all there is. How do you move forward and keep living? There's no way not to work – so what do you do to keep enjoying and appreciating life?
I feel like that's something wrong with me and all my coworkers get something about work and life that I don't. I'm kinda looking for actual insight into what makes life worth living and enjoyable despite all this — also hoping I am not totally alone in feeling like this.