Long af rant but I need to get this off my chest
I’m just so done with it all. Tired of the burnout, the lack of support from management, dreading the drive to work every day. Tired of throwing up from anxiety before my shifts, tired of crying. Tired of my time being taken advantage of and tired of going to bed depressed knowing I have to wake up the next day and go to work. I’m tired of worker exploitation and being made to feel guilty for wanting to take time off besides for medical reasons. The final straw at my job is that they won’t let me take time off to visit family from out of town for Christmas because “it’s the busiest time of the year. I work at a lash studio as a stylist. Why do we need to be open for Christmas? Or any holiday? People don’t NEED lashes. I NEED my time off. It’s just not negotiable.
I think I am going to tell my boss tomorrow to not expect me to come in next week and that I am quitting. It’s sucks because I have clients and I feel bad for abandoning my regulars and making my coworkers be guilted into covering for me but I just can’t take it anymore. Or maybe push myself until the end of my pay period. I have enough saved up to pay my bills next month and for food and necessities and I think I’m going to just take a break from it all for a month. Go to some job fairs. Ask around. It just sucks because my current job isn’t terrible in terms of the actual work and pay (and I get 3 days off a week on top of that so I feel goofy complaining about all of this) but I need a change. I need a break. I need some time to really figure out what I have to do to be happy because thinking about slaving my life away for the rest of my life seriously has me feeling the most down I’ve felt in years.
I want to create art, I want to be happy. I don’t want to work for someone else’s gain. I know it will be hard and costly up front and risky. Maybe I’m being irrational because I’m angry but I don’t care. I’m not expecting perfect but there HAS to be more than this. There just has to be. My WHOLE life I’ve never been able to fit into the mold that is clocking in.
I’m also afraid of what my family will think. Since before I was 16 I’ve been expected to work, and if I’m not working i’m failing/lazy/a disappointment. But I know I’m meant for more than this.
Has anyone had experience with taking an extended period of time off? Is it smart to quit or should I ask for an LOA? Any advice or encouragement would help a lot. Thanks for reading.