I've always been thankful to be able to work in a school after not being able to major in education in college. I was lucky enough to be recommended a job working for a non profit based in a high school (I already had some time working in school under my belt), and I happily took it. Like an idiot, I didn't even notice the bullshit while it was happening when I first started. But now that I'm 5 years in, I have no choice but to confront the bullshit. You'd think after my job got rid of overtime and replaced it with 'flex hours' (which you can barely use because you feel guilty taking days off) or dealing with teachers that only see you as a break in their classroom and don't even try to control their classes (no hate to teachers but my god.), it's all become too much.
I hate the fact that no matter what, at the end of the day these kids are just numbers to these fucking people. I hate the fact that somehow I've become the defacto party planner/lesson planner/ graphic designer/ IT guy of the office. I hate that I'm extremely overworked and underpaid. And I especially hate the fact that I got a 'needs improvement' on my staff evaluation report this year because 'I help out with other people too often'. That effects my little 5 dollar fuck you bonus I get every year. I've never been so ready to leave this job in my life. And the worst part is? I can't. I care too much about these students. Seeing these kids grow and mature into the adults they're going to be is inspiring. But I don't even think that will keep me here anymore..and that hurts the most.