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Gave 2 weeks notice. They gave me a list. I said “meh”

Long time ago… I put in my 2 week notice. The company in their infinite wisdom introduced a program called FORE1000 (Future Of Refining Excellence in 1000 days). They gave all employees the option of resigning, and they would pay a generous severance (2 weeks pay for every year of service, full PTO payout and an add'l $2000). They wanted 35% to take the offer. Turns out about 55% took it. Stupid MFers. And it was the 55% that left were probably the smartest, able to get good jobs elsewhere. The motivated folks, leaving them with the lazy, sad dregs. My 29 person engineering dept had shrunk to like 8, and I was one of the 8. I didn't envy the workload I'd have if I stayed on. So, I found a dream job at another company, and put in my 2 week notice. My boss and my boss's boss…


Long time ago… I put in my 2 week notice. The company in their infinite wisdom introduced a program called FORE1000 (Future Of Refining Excellence in 1000 days). They gave all employees the option of resigning, and they would pay a generous severance (2 weeks pay for every year of service, full PTO payout and an add'l $2000). They wanted 35% to take the offer. Turns out about 55% took it. Stupid MFers. And it was the 55% that left were probably the smartest, able to get good jobs elsewhere. The motivated folks, leaving them with the lazy, sad dregs.

My 29 person engineering dept had shrunk to like 8, and I was one of the 8. I didn't envy the workload I'd have if I stayed on. So, I found a dream job at another company, and put in my 2 week notice.

My boss and my boss's boss and someone from HR had a meeting with me. At this point, they were desperate to keep any and all folks from my dept. What would it take to stay? they asked me. There is no amount that would make me stay. Okay, then, here is a list of the things we expect you to complete in the next 10 working days before you leave.

It was a ridiculous list. No way I could do that in 10 working days. Why would I do that shit work? I scanned the list and told them, “I'm not working more than 40 hours a week from here on out. I'll do the work on the list that I can, but I will be spending my time saying my goodbyes, wrapping up loose ends, and preparing for my next job. Your list is very unreasonable.

And I walked out. What are they gonna do? fire me? There were significant issues to address, especially as the work was piling up for the 8 of us still left. I didn't care.

I really didn't care. I had a great 2 weeks. Spent shooting the shit w/ friendly coworkers. Leaving at 4:30 on the dot (I was salaried). The work kept piling up. It did not get done.

Turns out, they ended up hiring like 20 high priced contractors to do the work that we left behind. And they did it poorly. The fired all of them, and went with another contracting engineering firm. Same results. It was a disaster, so I'm told by the 6 “employees” that were left there.

Cherry on the top? My old boss also ended up leaving, and paid for a lunch with me to she could shmooze with me and try to get me to hire her. Oh, I'm sorry, we're all very busy and at this point, I don't have any budget to hire someone like you.

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