I (25m) work in local government, human services. I am basically a social worker for families with children with developmental disabilities. I graduated in 2020, so I guess I don't have that much experience.
I'm coming up on 1-year. I make 50k. I work remotely 3-days out of the week. Govt benefits. Union. I know on paper I should be having a great time and that I'm privileged.
I still somehow feel like this job is killing me. Astronomical caseload, no training, having to “fake it until I make it” every single day. Strict expectations about meeting state regulations in my work. 3-4 new cases each week and it's not going down. All this fake urgency to pile more and more cases into a system that CANNOT contain them. Families waiting for months and sometimes a year for services that could benefit from them, and I'm still expected to be the middle-man, take the brunt of their frustration, and cram more and more cases through the intake process all while managing ongoing cases.
There are about 20 others in my position. No one seems happy. Supervisors are a clique, interact with us as little as possible and offer proper training even less. New hires are just told to shadow others in my role until they feel comfortable. If they don't feel comfortable fast enough, they can't work remotely. Program director is completely hands off unless we make a mistake that warrants her attention. There is a never-ending stream of work to do, there is no satisfaction when any task is finished.
I've gotten to a point where I've lost all empathy for my cases. Just get them into the program as fast as possible. Keep my meetings super brief. Keep phone calls super brief. Lose out on billable time (and get dinged for it, we're expected to have a certain amt of billable time in calls/meetings with families each month).
Performance slips up for a couple days, they leverage remote work and threaten to bring you back into the office until performance improves.
I know I should be grateful but I feel like I'm losing my mind. I got out of work the other day and just cried for the first time since I started antidepressants. I feel burried all the time.
Is this just me, and my own weakness, and my inability to handle hard work – or is this job just terrible? I try to be grateful and look at the positives but every night and every weekend I just spiral and dread going to work.