I work in a team environment and we have a lot of downtime between duties. People watch TV, play cards, bring potlucks, and generally spend all day socializing. Not my vibe, but I don’t hate. I think it’s cute they all have their little cliques and clubs. It’s just not for me. I’m not rude about it, but I like to sit outside with headphones on and spend my time drawing on my iPad. The break room is too crowded, everyone’s lunch smells terrible, the TV is always blaring with either sports or war crimes, and everyone is talking about their drama. It’s a bit of a personal hell in there.
I’m not unliked at work, and I am friendly with people as we do our jobs. I’ve been invited out for dinner/drinks with the team before, and never found it difficult to decline with a “no thank you” or “oh, not tonight. Thanks.”
This time, 4 people from the team came outside to my table and stood next to me until I took my headphones off. “I’m having a wedding announcement party at my place tonight! Dinner and drinks are already there, so you just have to show up”, said the leader of the pack.
“Oh, sorry. Not tonight, thank you” I said with a smile. I went to put my headphones back in when another from the group protested “we’ve worked together for years, and we invite you all the time. Why don’t you ever come out with us?”
I didn’t have a response. I just didn’t want to. I don’t want to go to a social event if I don’t enjoy socializing. I was on the spot and everyone was looking at me waiting for my answer.
“Because we’re coworkers, not friends” is all I managed to shake out of my mouth.
Now I can feel the tension at work. Nobody talks to me anymore. They’ve even stopped saying “good morning”, which I generally would be OK with, but it’s the sudden transition. I can tell they’re all feeling some sort of way about me now.
I guess I’ll just continue to do my job and mind my business. People should really calm down with their feelings at work. We didn’t know each other when I started, and we’re not going to know each other after I leave. Just keeping it professional.
EDIT: I’m not upset that they’re leaving me alone. I prefer it. I guess I’m just making the observation that they got so turned over a simple boundary. Sucks for them. They should leave their feelings at home.