Throwaway account for obvious reasons. This is going to be a long'un so hold on to your hats.
Please note: This post is not meant as political commentary. I consider myself an apolitical pacifist and I'd appreciate if this thread would not devolve into a flamewar, thanks. Remember: this event is regarding individual persons, not entire people groups.
I got called into a meeting with HR last Wednesday. I politely informed them that Wednesday is my day off as this is the day I am a full-time dad to my 6 month old son. I was told that this was regarding an issue that needed to be resolved immediately, and that I was to come in regardless. A request for a video call was rejected, I _had_ to be in the office for this.
It'll take me about an hour to come in, I told HR. I have about a 45 minute drive plus some lead time to get my son in the car, gather up everything we may need etc, plus incidental “if he starts crying while underway I need to put a bottle in his mouth”. Begrudgingly, [HR lead] accepted.
In the office I was brought into a meeting room with [HR lead] and [Coworker]. Before we continue the story though, some context:
We're a pretty small company. Everyone knows everyone else pretty well. We generally eat lunch together with everyone who is in the office at the same time and the atmosphere is always great. [Coworker] is a ~40 year old woman. She is Jewish. I consider myself an atheist but my name reveals a Muslim heritage. [HR lead] is non-practising Christian. Yes, this is relevant to the story.
“Before we start,” I say, “is this a formal meeting?”
[HR lead] confirms this.
“Then I want to record the conversation,” I reply.
[Coworker] protests: “I'm sure that won't be necessary.”
Me: “The employee handbook specifies that any official meeting in HR context may be recorded by any participant, regardless of consent of the other parties to the meeting. So yes, I want to record this conversation.”
[HR lead]: “You may do so, [my name]”.
I start the recording. From this point on, the conversation is verbatim.
Me: “Present in the meeting are [HR lead], [Coworker], myself and [son's name] who I was forced to take along as this is my dad-day today. What's going on?”
[Coworker] shows me a Facebook post on her phone. I read this post out loud for the recording.
Me: “This is a Facebook post from my personal Facebook account, made yesterday evening at 8 PM, well after working hours. The post reads: 'Killing children is wrong. I stand with the innocent.' What about it?”
[Coworker]: You need to delete this.
Me: Why?
[Coworker]: It's anti-Israel.
Me: Why?
[Coworker] sputters a bit, regains composure and then says: “Well you know what you meant with it.”
Me: “I meant what I wrote. I believe that the killing of children is wrong. What is Israel doing that makes that text anti-Israel then?”
[HR lead]: “[My name], behave yourself.”
Me: “[HR lead], that was a genuine question. I wrote what I believe and I believe killing children is wrong. And that is regardless of which party does the killing. I stand with the innocent as the people who have nothing to do with the conflict deserve peace. On both sides. I did not intend my post as anti-Israel or anti-Hamas, I intended my post as anti-war. Hamas fighters indiscriminantly shelling Isreali schools is wrong. IDF soldiers indiscriminantly shelling Palestinian refugee camps is wrong. Killing children is wrong, regardless of side.”
“See!” [Coworker] exclaims. “You believe Israel is killing children, your post is anti-Israel!”
Me: “[Coworker], please. This isn't a personal attack. I don't have anything against you – we've had tons of fun conversations during lunch. I don't know what else to say. If you read the text 'Killing children is wrong' and you consider that to be an attack on your core beliefs then please, [Coworker], please examine those beliefs.”
At this point, [Coworker] shoves her chair backwards and stands up. She spits me in the face, and storms out of the meeting room. Before she slams the door she shouts at me: “You're a f*cking N*zi!”
After a few seconds I break the silence.
Me: “[HR lead]?”
[HR lead]: “Yes?”
Me: “You just witnessed [Coworker] spit me in the face, correct?”
[HR lead]: “Correct.”
Me: “And you also witnessed me having my hands on the table throughout this conversation and not raising a finger at her physically, correct?”
[HR lead]: “Also correct.”
Me: “Then if you don't mind, I want to clean myself a bit, and then I will be back to lodge a formal complaint. I will also be making a report to police for assault once we're done.”
I end the recording, grab my phone and go off to the toilets to clean my face. As I walk from the meeting room, people are glaring at me. Not just looking, glaring. Not good.. The toilets are by the entrance, and I see [Coworker] talk to the receptionist as I turn the corner, coat and bag in hand. As she sees me coming, she's out the door.
[Receptionist] to me: “How could you?”
Me: “What?”
[Receptionist]: “You know [Coworker] is Jewish! How could you tell her to her face you think dead Israeli kids are funny!”
WHAT?!
Me: “That's … so far from what happened I don't even know where to begin. I made a post on Facebook about how I believe killing children is wrong and she spat me in the face for it.”
I pointed at the glob of spit that was slowly making its way down my cheek.
The receptionist shakes her head. “Your word against hers then.”
At this point I'm seething with rage. I quickly clean off my face and return to the meeting room where [HR lead] is cooing over my son who's making funny faces at her.
I am so angry at what just happened that I forget to start another recording for this second part. I describe my encounter at the reception but [HR lead] is of the mind that [Coworker] is allowed to say what she wants. When I suggest that I would send the recording to our company's employees@ email, she tells me not to do that. After all, these are [Coworker]'s genuinely held religious beliefs, we may not infringe on that. Never mind that my pacifist beliefs are equally genuine, they're not religious so they don't count – at least that's the gist of it.
Midway through, my son is getting fussy so I start feeding him a bottle. Happy baby noises do calm me down somewhat. We proceed with the complaint against [Coworker]. On my way back home I stop at the police station to make an appointment for the police report.
Thursday before leaving for the office, I get a call from my manager. Due to the nature of the situation I will be suspended without pay until the matter is resolved. I ask about [Coworker] but my manager may not comment on her.
Suspension without pay is basically pre-firing someone. So with nothing better to do I find and have a chat with an employment laywer. If I'm about to be fired, I'm not going down easy. But whatever happens in the next week or two, I know one thing:
Killing children is wrong.
I stand with the innocent.