English is not my first language and I don't live in US.
I just came back to my mom house after splitting with my partner.
It was supposed to be temporary. I was looking for an apartment to buy to leave asap.
I also had the pressure of people saying “36? You should leave ASAP!!”.
Now hear me out. I hate working. I became a freelancer 1 year and a half ago so I could manage my working time and chose my projects. I still hate it. But it's better than being part of a cult aka company.
In France, to borrow money from the bank, you either have to be a freelancer for 3 years OR have a permanent contract with an employer. I was about to change my status for the second one to buy an apartment faster.
Then, I had a chat with a close friend.
She HATES her company, she HATES her coworkers. She was young when she joined it and she was FU on the salary (her fault) and they keep on FU her on every other levels.
She applies to other job everyday, she has literally no opportunity and she told me the only reason she keeps on suffering in her company is because she has her bank credit of her house to pay and she has no opportunity to escape.
I was mortified. That's not new. But people tend to minimize it because “hey! That's life! You are here to suffer!” And everyone finds it normal to give up your life.
I realized the narrative is “it's a shame living in your parents house after a certain age, you should be independant at one point, but it's perfectly ok to be dependant of an employer”.
I have changed my plans now. I don't care about what anyone says. I don't care if people think I am a loser.
I will wait another year and a half, save 50% of the amount of an apartment (I already had savings) and buy my apartment when I will be 38.
This will allow me to have a low mensual credit to reimburse which means I could still be a freelancer and I will be able NOT to work everyday.
It's my chance to do it all over again.
If the price to pay is to live with my mom for 2 years until 38, let it be. I will then have 30 years of healthy mental health. It worth it.