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Antiwork

Working in an “At-will” state is killing my soul.

I don't know what to do anymore. I am 22m, I have ASD, and I have been struggling to keep up with the bullshit that jobs expect from me in a state where I can literally be fired for anything. I've become so locked in a repetitive cycle of people pleasing and racking my brain with unnecessary stress even while I'm OFF THE CLOCK because I am constantly terrified any little mistake or wrong move I might make (because, yknow I'm only fucking human after all) only to cause me to make MORE mistakes because the more I get stressed out and try to keep things going smoothly the more likely I am to mess things up on accident. It's not because I'm incompetent or incapable, but I struggle with a lot more things than neurotypical people do. I get very easily overwhelmed and 90% of the time it feels…


I don't know what to do anymore. I am 22m, I have ASD, and I have been struggling to keep up with the bullshit that jobs expect from me in a state where I can literally be fired for anything. I've become so locked in a repetitive cycle of people pleasing and racking my brain with unnecessary stress even while I'm OFF THE CLOCK because I am constantly terrified any little mistake or wrong move I might make (because, yknow I'm only fucking human after all) only to cause me to make MORE mistakes because the more I get stressed out and try to keep things going smoothly the more likely I am to mess things up on accident. It's not because I'm incompetent or incapable, but I struggle with a lot more things than neurotypical people do. I get very easily overwhelmed and 90% of the time it feels like the bar is always artificially gonna be raised on me, and I'm gonna get fired because I forgot to do something one day simply out of having too much shit on my mind.

This mostly stems from the fact that I have lost multiple jobs due to me having these issues and they can fucking get away with it because they can make up whatever lie they want to fire me. I might not be perfect and I might make minor mistakes but I always make sure the most important things are done and taken care of yet people wanna nitpick the tiny details, especially if they don't like you for no apparent reason other than that your brain works differently. I cannot live in peace at this point. I am constantly thinking about quitting my job but I know I can't make a living without having income. I don't have any marketable skills (in my personal opinion) and so my only option is to try and survive through these terrible fucking jobs that degrade me as a person, only to kick me to the side when they're done abusing me. I don't know what to do. It feels like all of my will to keep pushing through all of this slowly is getting drained out of me over time, and I feel like I have no options to try and reclaim some of my sanity.

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