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Antiwork

Quitting a Job Because My Manager Thought I Was Too Uppity

This incident happened to me about a month and a half ago, but I felt compelled to share this online. It is quite long, but I think it's worth the read. Unhappy with the conditions at my place of employment, I sought out a new job. I work in the hospitality industry and have been for about twelve years now, and I was looking for a long-term place of employment that offered sustainability and growth. I applied to maybe a dozen or so places and half of those led to interviews, including the job in question. I received separate job offers while doing the interview process for the job this story is based on. This job required three interviews: two with on-premise managers and the third with the director of hospitality. I applied for a bartending position on Indeed and a manager contacted me to set up an interview that…


This incident happened to me about a month and a half ago, but I felt compelled to share this online. It is quite long, but I think it's worth the read.

Unhappy with the conditions at my place of employment, I sought out a new job. I work in the hospitality industry and have been for about twelve years now, and I was looking for a long-term place of employment that offered sustainability and growth. I applied to maybe a dozen or so places and half of those led to interviews, including the job in question. I received separate job offers while doing the interview process for the job this story is based on.

This job required three interviews: two with on-premise managers and the third with the director of hospitality. I applied for a bartending position on Indeed and a manager contacted me to set up an interview that week. During the first interview, the first manager I spoke with mentioned the training would consist of two weeks of server assistant/food running training (I had no issue with that), and I would have to take food and beverage tests to move into the role. The manager I spoke to told me to come back the next day to speak with a different manager for a 2nd interview. Feeling excited about the prospects of the role and position, I agreed and came back the next day. On this day, I spoke with the general manager. The interview seemed a little less formal than the first interview. I took the general manager to be very charming and engaging, and the prospect of employment only amped my excitement. At the end of the interview, the GM told me I would have a virtual third interview with the director of hospitality. That interview took place a few days later, and it was very much a casual interview. I talked about my personal life, beliefs, and goals. Later that night, I received my offer letter, and I filled out all the necessary paperwork. The next day, I put in my resignation from my current job.

Fast forward to maybe a week later, I went into begin my first day of orientation. There were two other hires during my orientation. We sat down with a manager (the one from my first interview) and trainers, and we went over company and training material. Management introduced us to the front of house staff, and the hires and I ate a meal during service to experience what it’s like to dine in the restaurant. Later in the week, I began my first training shifts. My co-workers, although some a little inexperienced, were very kind and accommodating to me during training. I began to undertake the extensive food menus and slowly found my stride through the restaurant. To be honest, it was somewhat strange being in a supporting role during service, but I trusted the training process and did the work that was necessary from me.

By day two or three of training, I became curious as to what would happen after I finished the two weeks of server assistant/food running training. I did not recall management every relaying to me what would happen, and to be completely honest I never inquired. Would I have to do more training after the fact behind the bar before I made tips? The store paid me $7.25/hr for training, and I did not really feel comfortable not making tips for over two weeks. I tried to downplay the thoughts attesting it to my own anxieties/insecurities, so I continued with training. During my days of training, I felt a very weird aura with the management team. I also noticed the structure of service felt very sloppy and heavy-handed. Servers could not keep up with their tables, drinks were not being run (the team is enormous), dish etiquette was non-existent (and guess who was in charge of keeping things straight), there was a lot of shit-talking about other co-workers with the team, and the management team did not feel like active members during service (even though they would stand on the floor for hours and talk amongst one another). Some servers were good, some were mediocre, and some admitted to me that this was their first serving job. Naturally, I had second thought about taking the job, yet again I decided to ignore the feeling and carry on with training.

On day three or four of training, management introduced the team to a new hire. The new hire was also hired as a bartender, so we would go on to converse about the details of the position. Management told her that her training would be 6 weeks long which is a different training track than I was told. My confusion grew, and I became more and more skeptical about the terms of my employment. On day 6 of my training, I decided to speak with management about the trajectory of my training. I spoke with the GM and the manager-in-training. When I inquired about what happens after my training, the GM said, “Well you start off as a service assistant. Once you’re proficient at that, you then train a server. After you’re deemed proficient at that, you train to be a bartender.” That sounded a lot different than what the managers communicated to me during the interview process. When I replied to the manager with the previous sentence, she apologized that perhaps that was not explicitly stated and tried to cover up her tracks. I left the office feeling very confused. I have worked as a server for a decade, a bartender for 6 years, and have a very strong background in wine. It felt like a demotion to be told that I would have to work a support staff role (possibly up to a year according to management), especially when I’ve grinded to get to the level where I am and where I want to go.

In my head, I did not think I would continue to work there much longer, but I had such bad luck with previous employment stints that I weighed staying in the role and trusting their process. During the pre-shift before service, I relayed what management told me to the new bartender hire. She was just as perplexed as me, and she talked with management about the training process after we finished the pre-shift. Shortly after the beginning of service, the GM pulled me outside, presumably to talk about the conversation we had earlier that day. She started off by saying, “I just wanted to clear up some confusion. The new bartender hire is on a six-week fast track to get behind the bar. You are on a separate track where you will start as a server assistant and work your way through the training program.” Obviously, I am very confused. I tell her again that she did not tell me this during the interview process, and I inquire as to why I would not be on the same training track as someone with my level of experience. She says to me, verbatim,

“I noticed during your interview that you demonstrated a lack of humility, so we thought this role would be appropriate to humble you. Is that okay? We would still love to have you work here.” white woman scrunch face

It took the grace of God for me not to slap her then and there, but holy shit was I taken aback. Did she just say that to me? To any employee? Why would you hire someone you thought was arrogant? Flooded with emotions and being rendered speechless, I said yes and continued with my shift. If I said what I really wanted to say in that moment, I don’t know if I could control my anger and emotions, so I needed the time to process what exactly I wanted to say when I quit. What truly angered me is that I am black man who works in a predominantly white job sector, so I knew I needed to parse my words very carefully. This was not the first time a white superior or co-worker for that matter essentially called me uppity. Are you threatened because I’m engaging, passionate, and knowledgeable about what I do? The management team did not have to hire me if they felt my personality was not amenable to their establishment. Instead, they decided to hire me under false pretenses (probably because they were also hiring server assistants at the same time I applied to be a bartender and needed a body to fill the position) and felt the need to humble this black guy who was well over-qualified for the position. I had other job offers I could have taken, and I would have completely understood had they decided not to move forward with my application. But I was played, and I ultimately had to deal with the consequences.

I somehow stomached the rest of my training shift, incisively planning what I would say when I quit at the end of the shift (we got a training meal and I needed the training pay so I decided to stay). I spoke with a few co-workers about my plans throughout service, and some folks who had been with the company for some time echoed a lot of feelings that I had been feeling in relation to the company values and mistreatment of hourly employees. At the end of my shift, I ate my food and gave my resignation full of expletives and yells to a different manager. To my surprise, he relayed he was fond of me and my work ethic and spoke about me very positively to the management team.

That night, I wrote an email to HR about the situation, lambasting the GM. She sent some typical corporate response, but I have a feeling I will not be the last person this happens to in that company. What really turned out as a promising shift in my career turned into one of the most embarrassing and shameful experiences of my life. The one thing I’m proud of is that I left my dignity intact and will never allow an employer to me as diminutive and disposable.

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