I (24m) have been working as an environmental technician/engineering trainee for the past year and a bit. At first it was great, I was doing minimal work and being able to disasociate work from the rest of my life. My company has two offices, one bigger (30 people) and one smaller (5 people). For my first year, I worked at the smaller office. Everyone was nice and laid back, I didn't have to stress about my job (especially outside of work hours) and was happy.
Since then, I switched to the bigger office to be closer to family and it just feels so different. The smaller office allowed me to take my days slowly and be able to organize all my thoughts but now things are much faster paced despite this office being described to me as “chill”. I've began making more mistakes and although, I haven't had any truly negative feedback, I still feel worthless in this job. It feels like I can't keep up and am falling behind. I don't believe I'll be fired or anything soon as I still do contribute enough to the company and actively work on projects no one else wants to (often requiring me to travel to other cities and stay in hotels).
With the change of office, it clicked in my head that I really don't want to do this forever. I feel myself becoming miserable with every mistake I make. Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about work more than ever and it stresses me out to fall asleep, knowing I have to work the next day. The majority of my stress revolves around the potentiality of getting fired. Someone was fired last week (accompanied by a patronizingly positive email about them leaving the company), which made me think about it as a possibility more. I just moved into my first apartment, so basically, I don't want to get fired and be forced to move out (I only just finished furnishing my living room). I do have a supportive family, which I am lucky for, and they would take me back to live with them, but obviously this is not what I want for myself.
Another thing I should mention is that I do not have a crazy amount saved up as the rental market in my province is insane. The only reason I have this apartment is because I got incredibly lucky and even-so I am saving only a few hundred dollars a month. So, if I get fired, I lose the apartment almost immediately. Not to mention the fact that I don't know how long it would take to find another job, given that I wouldn't be able to use this company on my resume and have no other relevant job experience (I worked at walmart and a grocery store before).
I just want to stop being stressed all day long. I have dealt with depression before and managed to get out of it but I feel it creeping back as my motivation is at an all time low and anxiety at an all time high. Writing this does make me feel a bit better, but it's only a bandaid until tomorrow morning.
Any advice/jobs that don't suck?