Categories
Antiwork

I was sold lies and now I’m at breaking point

I’m almost 25 and live in London. I was born here and lived here until I went to a good red brick university and then moved back home after I graduated. I have a BSc in Biochemistry – I don’t really regret this because I found it interesting but it wasn’t really my choice. I come from an ethnic family who were kind of guiding my life towards academic pursuits my whole life even though I wasn’t that sort of person. I’ve always been an outside person rather than inside person and I’ve never been able to do desk work properly due to ADHD. Regardless I’m pretty smart so I got top grades and graduated despite the fact I’d party 5 nights a week and do drugs and spent all my time out meeting people. I don’t really see a career for myself in science as I don’t have a…


I’m almost 25 and live in London.

I was born here and lived here until I went to a good red brick university and then moved back home after I graduated.

I have a BSc in Biochemistry – I don’t really regret this because I found it interesting but it wasn’t really my choice. I come from an ethnic family who were kind of guiding my life towards academic pursuits my whole life even though I wasn’t that sort of person.

I’ve always been an outside person rather than inside person and I’ve never been able to do desk work properly due to ADHD. Regardless I’m pretty smart so I got top grades and graduated despite the fact I’d party 5 nights a week and do drugs and spent all my time out meeting people.

I don’t really see a career for myself in science as I don’t have a Masters/PHD and don’t really want to take on anymore student debt.

Since moving back and graduating I’ve had a few jobs:

Research executive at a large corporation
Salesperson at car dealership
And most currently a property manager at a small family owned management and letting agency (not my family)

Now to the point – I fucking hate my life right now

All my life I was sold lies by my family saying that I should study hard, get a degree and a white collar job and I’ll be set for life but I just can’t do this office work anymore.

The 9-6 working hours structure is depressing me and I’m really not earning much – a lot of my friends work as bartenders/chefs/waiters (service industry) and make just as much if not more than me monthly which pisses me off cos I’d much rather just do that as it in involves being active and social. But I always thought those jobs were shitty and not for people who have degrees.

This is not a complaint similar to “I’m a graduate that can’t find work”

My girlfriend and my friends all work jobs that I assumed/was told we’re not good careers (fun stuff like bartending, photography, music) and spending time with them makes me hate my life because I have to pretend that I’m happy with my job and that I feel like I made the right choices.

It almost ends with a bitterness where I chastise my own friends and girlfriend by saying things like “your job is shit anyone could do it” or “you’re gonna be serving drinks your whole life haha” when in reality I would give everything to be in their position. They don’t have to wake up early, they have good friends at work and have a lot of fun – none of which apply to my situation.

Realistically what advice would you have for me?

My choices seem as such:

Continue being a 9-5 white collar worker and be depressed?

Cut of all my friends who’s fun lives are causing these negative thoughts about my own

Find a 9-5 I enjoy (unlikely but not impossible but need advice)

Forget the fact I have a degree and education and just go work for fun (sounds good but I’ll always feel like I wasted my good foundation and also it’s not cheap living in London)

I need a change and I need it now

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *