Basically, for the past few weeks, I've been feeling enraged. I feel a lot of anger towards the work system in general, and my job in particular. I've always been anti-work, but I managed quite well because I have a stable job that pays well and comes with quite a few benefits. Without going into too much detail, I've been with a well-known multinational corporation (Fortune 500) for 6 years now. I have a creative role (I'm in writing) and I quite enjoy the nature of my work. But… I can't stand the pace anymore. It's not just that there's too much work, although there is, but it's manageable. We have a super well-organized system with daily schedules, so I'm never overbooked. But I'm never under-booked either. It's 8 hours of work every day (with 1 hour for personal time), and it's multiple projects/campaigns per day where I have to be creative, quick, and meticulous all at once. I have to adapt a lot depending on the type of project, the country, and even the language. In short, I feel like I'm exerting a lot of mental effort every day, and it's exhausting me. Worse, it's consuming all of my creative, mental, and physical energy. I'm a lively person and I make the most of my evenings and weekends, but every morning when I log in at 9 am, I feel enraged. Seeing my 8-hour schedule filled up, I feel enraged. Seeing my week, my days, my life filled up by someone else, I feel enraged. Not having any control over a big part of my day, I feel enraged.
I don't know if I'm looking for advice. Of course, I'm applying elsewhere, but the market is very slow right now, no responses. Of course, I'm trying to focus on the bright side of things, but my rage is there, boiling inside me. It consumes me and exhausts me. I don't know what else to do. How can I not feel this anger every day at being a slave to this system, being exploited so much, not having control over my days and therefore my life. “How you spend your days is how you spend your life” well, I spend my life creating content for a multinational corporation, exhausting all my creative energy. I'm selling them my brain, my creativity, my days, my life. And I can't seem to escape this system.
Surviving like this or blowing it all up… Are those the only options I have? How do I cope with living like this? How do I make my days less emotionally painful?