Need courage and some reassurance.
I asked for a change in teams. Being a good performer my boss's boss said that is not an option. So I escalated the issues to him and HR.
It's been 10 months since I have been working under a female boss.
Her leadership style is to instill fear and control the team.
She gave me feedback that I am too nice to my team, and to control them, I have to be stricter (yell at them)
I did not yell. However, I got strict with them and distant myself from the team. My team told me that
“She will make you do this only so that when she starts torturing you, no one from your own team will stand up for you, and this has happened in the past,”
I got back to my original style of leadership. She started taunting me in the name of jokes. She started saying I have people management issues to juniors in the team. My appraisal was affected due to this.
She makes assumptions and talks to me with the decided outcome of the assumption. Eg. She told me x and y employees don't do any work. She called my juniors to validate while I told her that they do work as I am the one who gives approval for the final designs that go out. She started yelling at me, saying it was her opinion, and she was allowed to have one.
I am also subjected to loose comments like she doesn't trust me. Or if I have worked with one of my team members and helped him on the areas, he is weak. I have to give her updates on the progress. To which she goes laughing on the floor saying that I am suddenly that team members best friend. She has called that team member, who is a designer, saying he is more suitable for an admin role.
Then there are days when she wants to hang out with me out of the office. I took that as an opportunity to build a positive relationship with her.
But things did not change. She used to give me silent treatment like I did not exist, and sometimes she was my best friend. And something her anger and rage. I would come to work every day with a lot of anxiety, not knowing what kind of day I would have.
I spoke to some of my colleagues and was warned that if you give her ur feedback and ask her to mend her ways she will have an exit strategy for you and it has happened 6 times in the past. I have also witnessed her vindictive behavior. So I dropped the idea of letting her know.
But I had had enough because these were just 10% of the issues.
I asked for a change in the team and raised these issues with HR (new HR team) and her manager (also new). To which her manager asked her to mend her ways and give me more freedom to run my team.
HR, on the other hand, has started an inquiry by taking one on one with all her team members.
The issue is that I am super anxious because she has started letting the team know that I am a back stabber and someone who can not be trusted. She is influencing the one on ones. The HR is aware of and has stopped the meetings, which will be resumed next week when she is on leave.
She has told some team members that I will never work in her team. She has become so vindictive towards me She is excluding me from tasks, directly talking to my reportees, and calling me a backstabber.
I hate going to work and think I made a big mistake asking for a change in team and standing up for myself and the team.