TLDR: I’m a general contractor. Just about to move into finish phase of a pretty significant remodel of a home. The client had started to become increasingly insane. Crossed so many boundaries, proven to be a liar. Ditched him yesterday. It nearly went violently sideways
I got a text on Thursday from my client (who’d decided he needed yet another two days of no interruptions, while complaining about the the job taking too long) asking why we had installed old beaten up caps (he called them plugs) on his exterior doors.
He sent me a pic, and I explained they were preexisting, and were through-bolt caps for the door handles. Thought nothing more of it.
At 10:30 that night I’m hit with a barrage of texts. The main gist was that I was a liar, had insulted him by telling him he didn’t know what his house was like, demanding an explanation. I is usually don’t need to set boundaries with my clients about not doing insane things, so I responded with the same explanation, and that he was confused. He escalated quickly, sending me pictures of the doors and stream of text outrage about being a liar, being insulting to his intelligence. I took one of his pictures of the door ajar, and drew an arrow showing how the lower part of the exterior handle was connected using a through bolt, the other side of which was the cap.
This was the culmination of a back and forth (mostly him ranting, like in a drunken fury) and at the end, when it was definitively proven, he just said, “Oh. I need a break from this. It’s too much dealing with you,” casting himself as my victim.
I’m somewhat adverse to the misuse and weaponization of pop-psychology terms, but this was yet another example of weird narcissistic behavior from him. There had been other stuff in the past, including him just lying about things.
However, navigating difficult clients is part of my job, so I just said to myself “Get through the project, move on, forget it.”
Fast forward a couple of nights to 2AM. I’m asleep in bed with my wife and my phone is on dnd. He sent a total of nine texts about his thoughts on paint color and hit “deliver anyway” making me think there was some sort of emergency happening. AT 2AM!
It was at this point the penny dropped. This was revenge for the six or seven mistakes he’d made during the project. A clap back at me for his embarrassment.
My work carries a one year warranty in my contract. The finish work (what we excel at) would be the easiest element to make a year of frivolous claims about. Having learned that I can’t trust him, I knew it was time to exercise my right to terminate the contract.
I contacted him the next day requesting he advise when had paid his (late) invoice and asking to meet. He said he’d process payment at 9AM and we could meet shortly after. I (for obvious reasons) didn’t want to walk without this invoice being paid. I should note that the invoice reflected wages I’d already paid, materials I’d already bought, and payments to subs. Of the $8k, perhaps >$1k was my earnings for the week, but I didn’t want to be exposed to the tune of eight grand.
The day started and I waited. By noon, nothing. At 1, I sent him a friendly message asking what his day was looking like, as we had plans to meet and have a discussion, along with requesting he notify BMW when he’d cleared his invoice. At 3 (so my whole working day, and that of my colleagues was wasted again) he notified me that he’d made the payment and could meet. I checked my account, saw a payment, and headed over.
My plan was to first remove all tools and materials from the site, then terminate. The first part of this went fine. Vehicle loaded. I went back inside to talk. He was at his dining room table with a bunch of swatches and papers in front of him and awkwardly, his elderly mother was sat on a recliner in the same room.
I wanted to be as gentle as possible about boundaries. I was willing to complete the project with a hold-harmless agreement from him too. I was not in a combative mood. I opened with saying that we needed to discuss boundaries around contacting me, but before I was able to finish my first sentence, he interrupted and snarled “I’m the client. You work for me. I’ll contact you whenever I feel I need to.”
My immediate instinct was to just smash his head into the table, something that may have happened had his mother not been there. Immediate blackout rage. When I came to, I was stood up, silent, and he was still talking.
I took a few breaths, reminded myself how losing my temper has never had a good outcome and told him we should take a walk outside. I just needed a moment to calm down and a change of scenery. The house is on the seafront. I didn’t wait for him to agree, I just started going and he followed.
The walk let me breathe, gather myself, calm down. Outside we sat down on a bench and I told him I was going to speak, and he was going to listen. Then he could speak and I would listen. He started to argue this point and a bubble of anger had me tell him firmly to shut the fuck up. I think it was at this point, our physical differences came into play. I’m a large strong person. He isn’t. It was obvious I was close to losing my temper. He did the math, was quiet.
I asked him if he had any other professional relationship in which he’d feel comfortable calling the other party a liar, or drunkenly contacting them at ridiculous hours. He wouldn’t answer so I just pushed until he said no. I explained to him that this is because he is a closet classist, and sees my work as beneath the work of other professionals. He actually agreed that he did! With my mind blown a little, I went on to explain that lying and harassing someone, then casting yourself as the victim (at the end of all his bullshit exchanges where he was proven wrong or his lies were called out, he’d say I was exhausting to deal with, and he needed a break. Never an apology, or even an acknowledgment that he’d acted highly inappropriately. Which is fine, I don’t need that. But casting yourself as the victim after victimizing someone? No!)
I told him he showed worrying narcissistic behaviors, had been proven untrustworthy and was highly disrespectful and I was terminating our agreement.
He started to go mad, which I found really relaxing and somewhat cathartic. It really took the edge off. His first reaction was to threaten to sue me. I advised him to read the “right to terminate” clause in his contract. With a smile, naturally. He then told me I had to complete the project, just because he needed it done. I smiled and just said no thanks.
His rage turned into a weird tantrum then. He went back and forth between pleading and threatening (legal action, attacks on review sites about my business, blah) – he then switched and asked if he could talk and I just listen. I said nope, we were done, I advised him to use his energy to find a new contractor rather than pick a fight with me, and I warned him that I would come after him full force if he attacked my credibility.
I left for my vehicle to the sounds of him yelling threats and insults and it took every bit of self-control not to turn around and throw his ass over the bluff.
Tuens out he underpaid his invoice by a grand and change, meaning that I basically pay ~$2.5k to have him out of my life forever and move on with one of the many clients I have who love and respect what we do. A fucking bargain.
I’m very friendly with the high end lumber yard here. We chose a bunch of the live edge woods together and it’s his name and address as the recipient, albeit paid for on my account. However, he did sign intent to receive delivery, so I’m going to have them refund me and bill him. I have a great reputation with them and they have enough on paper to make this switch. They also don’t fuck about and will put a lien on his home if he doesn’t pay. So all going to plan, I should come out of it a wash. He was an asshole (super embarrassing for me) while we were there and the guy I deal with, we have a 10 year relationship. So I know he’s going to get it.
I guess that’s it. Whatever you do for a living, don’t put up with crazy, don’t accept classism!