I work in remote sales which sounds great on the surface and it was at first but as the company got more and more involved in our area it became more and more about money, sales, credit cards, and memberships. I feel exhausted and depressed when I start my day despite trying everything in my power to not be that way. I engage in a massive amount of physical activity as I box 4-5 hours a week and I hike as well as camp. I have hobbies like playing videogames, ancestry work, reading, hiking as mentioned and yet none of this helps me when I sit at my desk. Immediately it's like a switch flips and I just cannot handle being in such a terrible work environment.
I do have mental illnessness (anxiety and depression) and that makes it 10x worse but I need some way to cope while I attempt to find another job as I took a 2 week mental health LOA and came back today and just broke down due to customers treating me like dirt right off the bat and already starting my day off not being able to meet my sales quotas. If I don't meet my sales quotas this quarter I will lose my reasonable accommodations also that allow me to work 32 hours a week which greatly helps my mental health as I'm also a full time student approaching my senior semester. I can't not have a job due to my bills and medications but at the same time it kills me to have one. I'm not disabled enough to qualify for disability but I struggle to work through these jobs or even find a new one.
How can I cope? What am I doing wrong?