Last year I was finishing my university studies, which was another attempt at my final year. This was due to me deferring uni the year prior during the pandemic because the course was entirely online and had a very poor quality of teaching. Combined with the fact I could not access the library or other facilities that helped me focus when I needed to write an essay, plan a presentation or study for an exam.
So I went back to university after working for 9 months doing a very difficult manual labour based job that involved dealing molten metal and creating finished products for blast furnaces. This was useful as it provided me with a lot of perspective and I thought it would be beneficial to have as experience with my supply chain management degree.
Around a month before I went back to university I had an initial informal discussion on teams about a potential logistics role I was applying for. In this discussion, my interviewer was pleased about my experience and skills. As well as the fact I would be recommencing my studies fairly soon. However, I would not hear back from this employer for two months – I saw multiple listings for the vacancy being posted again and again. I should have considered this red flag and should have had more clarity at the time. But I just took it in my stride to focus on my studies and knuckle down.
After 3 months from the teams interview, I was invited to an onsite interview. I was interviewed by the hiring manager and a senior member from the department I would be working with. From the get go of this interview the senior member of staff was scaremongering me about the role. They mentioned about how quickly people burnout, the overall toxicity of the work culture and how they could not stand the workload in certain periods of the year that coincided with increased demand. The senior member could not give any positives at all just doom and gloom.
After the interview, I was quite astonished and did not know how to think of the position. But I used the negativity of the senior member of staff to fuel me to further study and to accept the potential offer in spite of their views of the workplace and its culture. I eventually heard back from the interview and I accepted the offer.
6 months into my studies the hiring manager phoned me up out of the blue to inform me that he wanted me to start the new role part time – so i could get to grips with the work place. This would have been a good idea if he had suggested this sooner and not a couple of weeks before my final examinations and final essays and dissertation that I needed to submit. I suggested to him I could work a couple of days a week following my dissertation submission for 3 weeks later than he wanted. The manager was not pleased with this decision and was “disappointed” with my commitment to the company. However, he somewhat agreed with my decision.
I submitted my dissertation well on time in preparation to start the new role for a few days a week. However, I was heavily burnt out from pushing myself to achieve the best grade I could on my dissertation. I felt even more burnt out at the prospect of having to balance fitting into and commuting to a new role (a 30-45 minute journey depending on traffic) whilst studying for my final exams and preparing for my final presentations.
A week before I was due to start, I had a medical which was a drug test and a general check up on the first day. On the second day the company doctor reviewed my results and asked me about my wellbeing and general questions about my lifestyle choices. I was honest with the company doctor and told him about myself feeling burnt out and worried about balancing my job whilst wanting to gain the best I could from my degree. He understood what I was saying and said to me that “It would be in your best interest and the companies best interest if you carried on with your studies” and start employment at a later date. He said that he would forward it to HR and they would take it from there.
A few days after, I saw a brand new listing for the position on indeed. From there I went into total despair and could not cope with how much anger, frustration and betrayal I felt. I heard nothing from the employer – I sent a number of emails out to the company and I was ghosted.
The most frustrating part of this was that i heard from an acquaintance that they had hired someone who was a relative to an employee at the company for the position I had accepted an offer for. And to make it even better they had agreed for them to start in the September. Two months after I would have finished my course.
This event has knocked my confidence massively with the job hunting process. In the past year I have had two interviews that got to the final rounds and I have been ghosted by one of the employers and I was given vague feedback by the other.
I am currently unemployed in a cost of living crisis and i cannot even get a level entry job. I feel so much shame and frustration about my economic situation and it is making me want to give up even more with the job hunting process with applying for over a hundred jobs in a very rural area. I have gone to career fairs and there is nothin that applies to me due to how bad my area is with employment opportunities. I also get told that I should move away but I do not have the finances for that, or even a job to aspire to achieve that. I am just stuck in a complete monotonous cycle currently.