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Antiwork

A message for Brian, who works at a fence company

I think I understand what happened now, and I kind of hate you for it. Not only you, of course, but you most of all, because you pretended to be my friend and then used that information to add salt to the wound by making the issue more personal. I hope you feel bad, because you would have known what buttons to push to make what happened happen. You knew I didn’t like drama, you knew I always want everybody to like me, and you knew about my major anxiety issues, and you used them all against me just because you wanted me to get fed up and quit so you didn’t have to fire me. I don’t really care who initiated what went down or why. All I know is that I was as good an employee as I was able to be, and whenever I made mistakes, I…


I think I understand what happened now, and I kind of hate you for it. Not only you, of course, but you most of all, because you pretended to be my friend and then used that information to add salt to the wound by making the issue more personal. I hope you feel bad, because you would have known what buttons to push to make what happened happen. You knew I didn’t like drama, you knew I always want everybody to like me, and you knew about my major anxiety issues, and you used them all against me just because you wanted me to get fed up and quit so you didn’t have to fire me.

I don’t really care who initiated what went down or why. All I know is that I was as good an employee as I was able to be, and whenever I made mistakes, I ALWAYS owned up to them and immediately did better. I’m a human, not a machine. I LOVED that job, and I did everything I could to show that. And you and John and everyone else always said they were happy to have me there, and that they appreciated everything I did. But then one day, suddenly everything I did and said was scrutinized over, and even things that never would have been a big deal became the biggest tragedy on planet earth. You took all problems straight to HR before saying a single word to me, and you were my BOSS. You were SUPPOSED to be the one to correct me if I was wrong. But I’m nothing but a pushover, right? So it was easier to blame it all on me. The fact that I kept getting in trouble this way while in the meantime you told me you were happy with my work is just a bad reflection on your own performance as a boss.

Was it about the money? Was someone upset that I was working overtime because of YOUR genius solution to the photo hold system, and now that I was on hourly pay someone was mad they had to give me so much? That seems pretty petty, considering the national average salary for graphic design is $53,007/yr, and you were only giving me $40,000. Don’t you think I deserved that money, considering my living situation? You know I live in an old building with criminal neighbors and unclean water, a place which I pay far less for than most lower rate apartments because it’s all I can afford on my own. Not to mention how much more my coworker had been making. She was given TWO raises in under a year, while I only got ONE in the span of one and a half years. Now you’re feeding her the same lines you fed to me: “we wouldn’t fire you, we love you.” You better not screw her over like you did me. Prove you’re not as horrible as you seem to be after this stunt and treat her like the wonderful employee she is.

Anyway, the fact that I don’t even know for sure what happened is proof enough that you or somebody just wanted me out. Why be so cryptic about everything? Answers to my questions were as direct and helpful as if someone asked why the sky was blue, and the answer that came was something like “yeah, it’s blue”. You pulled me aside that last day to talk about a sideways image that could have been fixed in a second if you had just said something to me? Come the fuck on, it’s obvious at that point that you just intend to screw me over. If nothing else is sufficient proof, you got rid of the camera as soon as I left.

At worst, you’re a seriously disgusting and manipulative person that took advantage of someone who confided in you. At best, you’re a coward who decided to screw over a friend in need to save your own job. That one I at least understand, but you truly didn’t have enough respect for me to just pull me aside and say something as a warning like you’ve done so many times before? I hope the immense amount of pressure you put on me all falls on you, and I hope you get crushed under its weight. You aren’t the good boss I thought you were, you’re just like all the rest. I should have listened when they said “your boss is never your friend” because they were right all along. I blocked your number and don’t ever want to hear from or about you ever again. Get over it.

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