I work as an assistant director of children's ministry at a local church. The admin of my department has a problem of sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. She will be at her desk and openly eves drops on a conversation from across the room. She has to put her two cents into every conversation that is being had in the office. This admin has called me on my work line saying, “Hey so I was just listening in on this conversation and I think you should do XYZ” I've only been here for ten months, but for some reason no one tells her anything, but only complain to each other about her. She can be pretty intimidating which I think is the main issue.
A couple of days ago, I asked the facilities manager to proof read an email I was about to send out which involved him. The admin said, “He can't do that, let me do it.” I told her no thanks and that we've got it covered. For the next 30 seconds, she kept asking things like, “But what is it?” “Does it concern me?” “What's it about?” I kept saying that if it did concern her, I would let her know. I was physically blocking my screen while facilities read it. Once he walked away the admin said, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't my place.” But she always does this. She'll butt in then apologize afterwards.
We have a policy of speaking with the person first, before speaking with a higher up. I have no problem telling her anything after this incident, because I made it very clear to her it was not her concern and she continued anyway. But she obviously knows what she is doing and I think it's time to bring it to her supervisor.
What should I do? Should I talk to her first or tell the boss?
PS: If I were to tell her, I would say something like, “You're very smart and your opinion is valuable. However, too many opinions can be overwhelming for some people. You know that not everything in this office is your concern and you don't need to worry yourself over everything you hear. You apologize a lot for your actions, but I am not seeing any change in behavior. That change means more than a “seek forgiveness, not permission” type of apology. Going forward, if I want your opinion, I will ask for it.