Well the day didn't go as I hoped it would it also did not go bad at all.
I started the day off with getting lunch. After that I went to the library to work on the following electronics, math, and reading.
I used chatgpt to get some ideas of things I could do to better my life/situation. To see if I can make a living doing things I like doing. I had got some ideas and started working towards them. I did not get very far. I was becoming distracted by different things. My song choice that I was listening to while working and the I felt overwhelmed by the gap I had to cross to get to where I wanted to go.
Unfortunately I discovered I probably can't accomplish everything I need to accomplish in a week. So I can't quit my job today :(. So after discovering that I'm going to have to live this shit life for a bit longer I decided to go to the bookstore.
I got to the bookstore and sat down and started reading the myth of Sisyphus. I was drawn to that book. I related a bit to Sisyphus. I haven't read the full story. The book I was reading was talking about suicide and whether life was worth living.
It didn't have any revolutionary ideas to me. Or I just didn't understand who knows. From what I did comprehend it looks like everyone asks this question of themself at some point in their lives.
For me the answer to that question is in hoping and looking for life to turn around to be worth living. There are a couple things I want to do in this life. And unfortunately I need to live a successful life to do those things rofl.
Im in a spot where if life gets any worse this may be too big of a hole to climb out of. I know people say the suffering makes you stronger or whatever the fuck.
On the flip side! It won't take much for me to be content. Not living in my car and having my own place. That's not too much right?
So today I'm going to do a little more than yesterday in the time before work. And while I'm at work I'm going to think about what I'm going to do the next day.
They can't control my thoughts babbyyy. Here is to breaking out of the monotonous, soul draining, eye gouging work that is unskilled labour.