and getting paid for how well you're acting lol.
I've got 2 service jobs and a strict dress code for both. so basically I can't dress how I want, can't paint my nails or express myself in any way except for 2 days a week, which honestly doesn't pay off (doing your nails for 2 days a week and scraping it off every Saturday? you'll end up with no nails)
it might sound silly but self-expression through style and appearance plays a huge part in my CPTSD recovery. it's not about impressing others; it's about reclaiming my body and my autonomy as a human being.
I can't cut my boss out of my life for acting toxic, can I? so I just nod and try not to squirm when they come around. I've got enough boundaries to accept some people are just assholes and it's nothing personal, yet I still find it difficult to spend most of my time around them.
I'm doing my best to aquire skills that would allow me to switch to freelance remote work, but it's gonna take awhile. I also live in a place where every job at this level has very dumb rules for appearance, so it won't be solved by simply switching to a different restaurant/shop 🙂 (basically I'm just lucky to get any job as a foreigner with little language skills).
So I'm coping with it by pretending I'm playing a role of a silent worker, when all I want to do is scream and fight with my managers over my nail lenght lmao. Anyone else?