Story time: So my boss (upper middle management type) shows up and asks me to turn in a daily report to the corporate office by 8am. No big deal, I usually do it the end of day before or first thing at 5am. So I say “Okay” and get back to work.
Boss: “…That's it, just okay?” So I briefly explain what the report is, and that it's already getting done on time, and that I was the one who forwarded him the company memo about the reports at 8am bit 2 days ago and had already replied to him that we were already good with it.
Boss: “No, not that, I mean just 'okay' isn't an acceptable response” and starts talking about my poor attitude with him and how he's the boss and I need to be more respectful and some other stuff like smiling more.
(There's 10+ years of backstory here, he's not exactly wrong about all that and I am, in general, deliberately a prick with him specifically while being great with basically everybody else.)
Me: “Look, I get that you don't like me and you know that I don't care about you or your opinion of me. But I do my job perfectly, don't complain or cause problems about nothing, and help you out all the time with the extra stuff. We're not gonna suddenly fix our relationship, and I'm not gonna change my attitude here. I'm happy with doing my job and I'll listen and pay attention to you anytime but unless it's a specific work issue thing, I don't care.”
Boss: “Fine we'll fix this real easy. From now on address me as 'sir' anytime you talk to me.”
Me: “Lol, no.”
Boss: Something about disobeyment and my generation being disrespectful and whatever.
Me: “This ain't the military. I don't have to obey orders under penalty of death. Respect is a two-way thing and (for backstory reasons) you're the last person I would ever call sir. Get over it and let me get back to work.”
Boss: Standard rant about firing me right now and how easy it would be to replace me.
Me: “You both won't and can't, I know the company policy, and I've been a part of the hiring process and it took months for them to find the last guy and I'm still training them.” And some more about how long the process is and how I know it would take so much more of his time to do all that than he regularly spends dealing with me and my job in a year so…
Boss: This isn't how this works, I'm the boss, You don't understand the big picture, What I say goes no matter what, etc…
Me: “Okay”
Boss: Long pause and a glare… “What's the schedule like next week and do we have what we need?”
Fuck I love just not giving a shit straight to this dude's face. Like, just let me do what I do without all your extra shit and we're good. Anyways when I got home I called and reported him again to the corporate HR hotline this time for calling everyone in for a meeting just so he can rant about why Biden is ruining this country and other political nonsense and telling us how to vote and whatever.
Thanks for reading my story. Here's a pic of me outsourcing my job to my cat for a bit as a reward. Love this subreddit.
