Where to start. Long time lurker, I never post or comment. I work in a major city in the 'west/middle' of the US and I make decent money (shy of 100k). I hate my manager. Why? Every job I've had (from 13 to 31), I do what I need to blend in. I'm nice, I work hard, reliable…etc. I have no problem listing my flaws, but overall I've been told I'm a good employee and my users/peers like me. Cool. Sometimes I adjust my personality a little to make life easier. Manager is religious? Alright well I'll avoid offending them, no biggie. I adjust to survive, a lot of us do. We play 'the game'. Well, despite being a pro at this game, my manager still doesn't like me. It's really obvious. It's not religion, it's not anything like race or gender, we're similar in a lot of ways. I'm pretty sure it's 1-2 things, 1 is “paper” related (“I went to XYZ School where did YOU go???” so annoying) or 2. I'm a bit out of shape, working on it. I'm the fat guy, haha, I get it, even I don't like fat people, cut me some slack mate I'm working on it. I think about taking a lead vitamin every morning, but here I am.
Anyway, I'm working on getting; 1. a new job, even if it pays less. My mental health is about as low as it's ever been in my life. I don't fear the dark but as the light goes out I am quickly losing my sanity. 2. Getting a 2nd, part time job. I have some debt I need to pay, then I am moving to try and become a beekeeper and make honey wine! I grew up on a farm (working, not owned, poor family) so I'm no stranger to it. 3. Going to donate plasma to help buffer the bills / save (currently paycheck to paycheck, addiction runs deep in my veins, I know I suck) 4. I'd love to start some kind of online…community? YT channel? I'm really trying to connect with people but I struggle with that outside of work, hence my post here. Do I have a stupid plan? I guess I'm not sure if I'm ranting or asking for advice, mostly just screaming into the void. I just want to wake up, take care of some animals, build automation for a homestead and sell honey and barter with locals. I'm so tired of corp america and working in tech. I'm so so fucking mentally tired, I just want out.