I work at a disability support company in Australia with my wife, I've been here for a few years without a single issue and work hard.
Early this year I had my yearly evaluation and was told I was a great worker with nowhere to improve, I then asked for a raise and was told I don't do enough personal care shifts (these are the full on hard work ones where you have to use hoists and wipe asses and stuff) I told them great I'll drop all my group shifts and replace them with personal cares to which I was told not to and they'll get back to me.
That was May, since I've asked for a raise a handful of times and was met by very luke warm answers of were working on a solution, that is until last week where my personal care client had multiple shifts come up and I informed work I'm dropping a group shift and picking up an additional care shift to meet minimum for the raise.
At the same time my wife asked the manager at the company about the minimum and whether one more shift a week would bring me up enough to get the raise (this manager has told my wife he's attracted to her at a work party once and so my wife is already a little scared of him) he proceeds to lose his shit saying that trying to force my raise will negatively impact my employment and how he's gonna have a meeting to discuss my work ethic with me. He told a fellow employee about a private disciplinary meeting with me.
When asked to have the meeting I agreed and then my manager immediately cancelled the meeting, he told me it was cancelled but told my wife it was postponed. At this point I read what had been sent to my wife and she left a shift in tears in front of 2 groups of 5 clients. I called work and arranged a meeting with HR to discuss my managers actions. When discussing with a friend the situation he informed me the boss was asked about my issues and bragged about how replaceable I am and if I'm going to be difficult there's hundreds of people lined up to take my place. (This was in reference to a previous issue I had a couple of weeks prior to this event)
Here's my issue, HR and my manager and good friends outside of work and I don't know how to handle this situation because of this and would like some advice.
TLDR: Manager said mean things to my wife who's a worker and disclosed information about me to her but is friends with my HR guy.