As a brief summary of my work experience, from 2012-2018 I worked in state government (Job #1) . Started in desktop support and was promoted to senior desktop support/junior sysadmin. Left in 2018 for a better paying state job (in the next state over) as a sysadmin (Job #2)
Things were fine at Job #2 from 2018-2020. Good annual performance reviews, progressively advanced project work, etc. In early 2021, my mother was diagnosed with dementia, and I had some serious medical issues of my own that required multiple rounds of inpatient surgery. From early 2021 to early 2022 I had 4 different surgeries, requiring at least 2-4 weeks of home recovery per procedure, several months of physical/occupational therapy, post op appointments, etc. Also ended up in the ER with complications a couple of times. I ultimately had to use all my FMLA time and most of my accrued PTO. I’m mostly fine now, but did experience another surgical complication last month.
Through this entire process I was also in school, as my employer had a program with a small but accredited liberal arts college where full time employees could get a BS in business admin for free. However, continuous enrollment was required to be eligible. I checked with administration and was told I was unable to take any semesters off for medical leave and still be eligible for the free college arrangement.
Between the family issues with my mother, multiple rounds of surgeries with complications, and struggling to continue making good progress in school, I burned out hard and started coming in late due to fucked up sleeping patterns, working slower, etc. So I got a poor performance review for 2021-2022.
In early 2023, I learned that the free college program was going to be suspended at the end of the spring semester. I figured I needed to do as much as I could in school while it was still free, so despite my medical issues being mostly cleared up, I was still burned out from trying to grind through some of the more challenging higher level courses. Additionally, I needed to research student loans and less expensive schools to transfer. I currently have a 3.9 GPA and about a year left of school.
In April, my supervisor informed me that my contract wouldn’t be renewed next year and that I was to be demoted to helpdesk with the same pay. He did promise me to give a good reference (more on this later). However, almost no one was informed of my demotion outside of management, so when I showed up to the helpdesk the next day, people kept asking me why I was there, which was extremely stressful and embarrassing. Had a panic attack without knowing what it was, and now faced with the humiliation, in addition to figuring out school and to needing to find another job, I took more FMLA leave.
For the next two months, I researched the least expensive accredited schools in the entire US, with brick and mortar presence, and fully online BS in business programs. Applied to the two least expensive ones and was accepted to both. Did a ton of research about private student loans and was pre approved for several. At the same time, I was also looking for other jobs and took the first offer at an MSP for a lower paying sysadmin role. All the while, I was finishing up my last free college classes.
The MSP had a loud open plan office, strict time requirements for everything, and a ton of micromanagement. The polar opposite of anywhere else I had ever worked. It was extremely stressful for me and I was still stealth-interviewing for other jobs. I ended up being terminated after two months for not working fast enough.
Around this same time, I had been extended a verbal offer for another better paying internal IT sysadmin job contingent on a reference and background check. One of my references was required to be a supervisor I had within the past 5 years, so I was forced to use my supervisor from the old state job #2 where I had been demoted.
I did what you’re supposed to do with references – I reached out to my former supervisor about the job I was considering and asked if he would be a reference. (He had already told me he would give a good reference after demoting me) He replied, “Happy to provide a recommendation. HR limits what I am allowed to say, they'd prefer that I only admit that you worked here and nothing else, but you can expect nothing but a positive reference.”
I also reached out to another former coworker who was not in management, and in a different section of the IT department not managed by supervisor, asking for a reference. We talked on the phone for a bit and I gave him the cliff notes of me burning out from work/school/surgery and that leading to my demotion and leaving the job. He seemed understanding and said he would have no problem giving a good reference.
The reason why I asked this other coworker for a reference is because I had reached out to the two other people I have successfully used as references in the past, and neither of them responded to me. These are people from Job #1 over 5 years ago, so that makes sense.
So, last week, I sent in my former supervisor and coworker as my references and signed off on the background check. Yesterday I found out that the offer for this new job was rescinded because, according to HR, my references said I had a poor work ethic and attendance record.
I don’t deny that my work performance did decline during 2021-early 2023 as I was burned out and using a lot of FMLA/PTO. However, I would think that if someone is asking you for a reference and you don’t personally feel comfortable giving a good one, you could either just decline or say that it won’t be a positive one. Of course, I will never use these two individuals as references again.
So at this point I’m extremely stressed out because my unemployment claim will take 3 weeks to process and since I worked in 2 different states in the past year it’s much more complicated so I couldn’t apply online.
I’m still applying for sysadmin jobs and have 2 other interviews scheduled for next week. However, one of the jobs did ask for references and I had submitted the 2 from my old job. My plan is to attach a new list of references when I send my post-interview thank you email. I’m now going to have to use the supervisor from my first desktop support/junior sysadmin job #1, one of the guys who didn’t respond to me, and possibly an HR person from the old sysadmin job #2, as they might be less likely to give details about my work record and just confirm that I worked there.
I had never had any issues at work prior to 2021, and of course I know within this year alone I’ve been demoted at one job, fired from another, and had an offer rescinded.
Should I just leave the IT field completely? I’m considering just giving up and getting my CDL or going into a trade so my work history “resets” and I don’t have to be forever punished for experiencing burnout because every reference check/verification of employment reveals it.
Tl;dr: in 2021 my mother got dementia, I had multiple surgeries/medical issues, and was still in school while working full time. Burned out and got demoted, quit, and lost a job offer due to bad references.