TLDR; alcoholic boss has drained me and sent me to the brink. how do I get through the next 6 months to save up for quitting and travelling?
I (26F) started my government office job a year ago. I had just finished my masters and wanted a break before starting work but the right opportunity came along so I said I'd go for it immediately after finishing up my thesis. The job involves research for an important policy topic which I'm passionate about, so I was initially really excited.
However, I quickly realized I was not going to be supported by my manager – she would log on at 1pm everyday, no replies to my emails, no direction given, I just had to infer what I was meant to be doing the whole time or ask colleagues below me in the hierarchy. Sometimes she would give nuggets of info or direction but not enough considering the importance and topical nature of this work. I feel a lot of pressure in the job as a result and my reports, when published, are scrutinized by the media and the gp. However, she does not even read the reports I write, instead she goes ahead and publishes them with zero edits or feedback, despite the need for her to essentially co-write with me. I've spent much of my time working confused (at best) and breaking down (at worst), as I am the fall guy if things aren't as they should be.
I heard whispers around the office that she is this way on account of the drink, but disciplinary action has been avoided by higher ups due to the complexity of engaging with the issue. She is functioning and the work ultimately gets done as me and my colleagues are carrying the team. I'm really disappointed that I had bad luck in her being assigned as my manager as I think this job could have been a great learning experience. I see my colleagues with better managers thrive in this role.
I, however, have been totally drained by this situation – when the workload was really heavy a few months ago I was crying everyday, lost all enthusiasm and motivation, had to spend the rest of my day in bed cos I had zero energy. I was so mentally bankrupt that I took all of my holidays at once and took a 4 week trip recently. I came back with my mental energy improved and feeling optimistic. However, in returning to work, I can feel the energy slowly slip away after just a few days. I need to retain my energy so I can enjoy life once I've finished the work day and not slip back into being depressed.
I want to quit in 6 months and go travelling, get out of this situation and enjoy life. This situation has totally discouraged me from wanting to work and I don't want to be employed for a long time when I'm done. However, I need to save money before quitting. Another thing that's a shame is that my working conditions are actually really good. I WFH 3 days a week, work just 35 hours and have flexible hours so I can decide when I start and finish work as long as my hours get done. However, I can't take the job anymore because of my manager but I need to hold on a little longer.
Does anyone have advice on how to get through the day in this situation and conserve my energy? Has anyone been in this situation and if there was a way to navigate it? My friends have tried to be helpful by telling me to just report her, but things aren't that simple. My aim at this point is self-preservation as best I can, earning my bag and getting out. How do I survive the next 6 months?