It’s my second month of being voluntarily unemployed. I have worked as a criminal law paralegal since college and have officially burnt out. I have run out of empathy for clients and patience for attorneys. I cashed out the measly savings I have, not really anticipating or wanting to think about what to do next. I have had to make decisions about my life since I was 14, trying to maintain good grades so I could get a scholarship to go to school because there was no other way my family could afford it. I have been pushing myself for nearly 20 years, going by what other people want me to do, to succeed and do better than the generation before me. My parents are working class and they put everything into making sure I was successful and I can’t help but feel like a failure but also a sense of apathy. I have been taught to work hard and dedicate yourself to your passion. What happens when your passion demands so much of you that you have nothing left for yourself? I have not told my family because I don’t want their continued advice, which is just to grin and bear this life until I can retire. I don’t want to do that. I have 1 grandparent who reached retirement age and the rest died working. I want to live, I’m tired of having to pay to have to live on this planet. We have so little time here and it is killing my soul to waste away inside an office.